Showing posts with label asset. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asset. Show all posts

Monday

to the windy city

4/14/08

it's been a while since i've updated, or at least that's the way it seems. looking over some of my old posts, i felt like everything was negative, making the sum of my "experience" seem negative as well. i don't think that's a fair assessment of the public allies experience so far.

there have been ups and downs. many more, in fact, than i had anticipated. we've gone through bureaucratic changes with the partnership with uwm, as well as changes in training. we've had all-out fights, laughs, shared secrets and sorrows. looking back at particular moments, we've had the team-building exercises like opening retreat and mid-year. of all the things we've done so far, i'd say our service days have been my favorite. those are the times we're walking the walk.

of course, there have been bad times. i am not one to gloss over troubles, as i'm sure my program manager, james, can attest to. i feel like i have been in a perpetual state of complaining to him about one issue or another since our first 360. pay problems, court, daycare, working too hard. everything. in fact, of everyone i've come in contact with at public allies, i think james may actually know me and what i'm all about.

at friday training, james dropped a bomb on us. as of april 25th, he will no longer be our program manager. james is moving on to bigger and better things in the windy city; he says he's found his calling in a philanthropic position.

i must say, i missed out on most of the other things he said. i was really disappointed. as i listened, i had this realization that i really do enjoy working with james. his incredible ability to listen to complaints and successes without interjection or silly advice-giving, and remaining utterly professional has really been an anchor for me. i have never done well being "bossed," but somehow, james has done this amazing job of directing without being overbearing. he knows there are things i don't want to do, but he gets me to do them by acknowledging the fact that they're silly, but reminding me gently that they still need to be done.

of course, i can't forget to credit james for all his encouraging and support of our TSP. the team service project has been a sort of mess for our group. we're split into many small camps, and have had a really hard time since the beginning of the project. james has done a fantastic job of keeping us one step ahead of the chopping block. when we had the TSP review panel, we dominated. every question the panel asked, james had already demanded answers for. without overpowering our need to lead, james has been the consciousness and grounding element of ASSET.

something else james has been on top of is our PISD's. i know that some other allies say they are never sure if their program managers ever get around to them, but every week, i know james looks through our PISD's and makes mental notes about the thinly veiled impact our service time is having on our lives. there have been times when james offhandedly mentions the impact of something he saw in a document, and he does it in front of the whole team. i've seen those comments make someone beam.

until he announced his leaving, i had no idea the impact james has had on me. of course, you don't know what you've got... james has been one hell of an asset. i'm going to stop gushing about it, but i'm really sad to see james go. he jas done more for us and the program than i think he knows. in spite of my sadness, i do wish him well in all he does.

thank you for everything james.

"a boss creates fear, a leader confidence. a boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. a boss knows it all, a leader asks questions. a boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting."
-russell h. ewing

Tuesday

2/26/08

we had a very successful meeting yesterday at walnut way with sharon and ASSET. though we did end up starting a little late, almost everyone made it out to the meeting. sharon was very kind, supportive of our ideas and excited to work with us. i think we are all pretty excited too. fallicy and michael seemed to be the most excited out of all of us, and were wearing that excitement on their faces.

we reviewed the components of our project, which are as follows:

1. create a history center for walnut way
a. gather and assemble materials for center: photos, music, literature, newspapers, geographical information systems (maps).
b. create interactive, mobile displays. possible additions to displays.

2.
plan and execute a reception for history center
a. assemble database of potential tour organizations.
b. invite them to a premier of the center.

3.
design tour curriculum
a. create narrative script for volunteer tour guides to use on neighborhood tours.
b. create complimentary brochure for visitors.


another prospective idea was introduced yesterday that would entail creating a special tribute to the houses in walnut way that are all least 100 years old. this would be incorporated in the gis mapping systems part of the project, as well as the virtual and real walking tours.

when we were introducing ourselves to sharon, she wanted to know what our interests in the program were specifically, what we were looking to do or to get out of this project. as we were around, everyone expressed an interest in a particular facet of the project, so it looks like every area of it will have a point person to do things with: art, publicity, organizing, volunteer management, research. we'll also have some student volunteers to assist with the legwork, and ivory black will be helping as a consultant.

something else that really stuck with me about the meeting was the way that sharon wanted to reach out to other members of the community. she's interested in involving the youth and the elders, as well as the area community centers. she's carrying out that asset-based community development.

on the way home, fallicy was so excited, she was practically bouncing around in the back seat. she talked about all the energy and all the potential. i stayed quiet, remembering the looks on each teammate's face, and the power of our project.

Monday

gift seats


2/25/08

last friday, after the ally-led training on the history and current state of milwaukee public schools, ASSET met at the uwm continuing ed. building for yet another evaluation process known as gift seats.

during this process, everyone in a tsp group is able to give one-on-one feedback to fellow allies. this can be informative and helpful, or plain nasty. i assumed that it would be quite terrible, given the way i've been feeling about the group's response to my presence. that, and whenever we come to a milestone moment in the program, i am wont to think the worst (like mid-year, IDPs, and things like that.)

our gift seat session was actually rather tame, even encouraging. i decided to go first in order to get it over with, and to have a more fair ability to give feedback. i sat at the head of the table, bracing myself.

i imagined this moment to begin with the team tearing into me, offering only negative criticism and disdain, but james spared us by offering up a list of questions. we were allowed to ask each team member 1 question from the list. some of them were:

-what makes me a good public ally?
-what are my assets?
-what are some of the challenges of working with me?

i think the most interesting question was framed very well: would you help me with ____________. this question allowed for you to decide what you needed help with, and to specifically charge a team member to assist you and keep you accountable. more than any of the others, i think this question really opened us up to the reality of the team.

after we all got finished and had a turn at the head of the table, i felt lighter. it's possible that this simple (yet incredibly challenging) exercise allowed us to express ourselves honestly. i noticed that everyone gave feedback to the best of their ability, and did so in a positive manner. even some of the questions that were meant to expose problems were responded to in an encouraging way. this gives me hope for the tsp project.

we're at the halfway point in the program, and i find myself thinking about all the things we've done, some of the feelings i've had. i remember receiving a letter from one of last year's allies. s/he warned me that the process was not going to be easy, but it would be worth it, and it would probably change my life. i don't think i put too much stock into that at first. as this whole thing continues and i interact with more people on an individual level, i'm coming to see that couldn't be more true. laying my expectations aside, i am finding it easier to embrace what is actually happening. things are less negative for me; it's easier to deal with the bad things and easier to be grateful for the good ones. every person is an asset, every moment is a lesson.

just because the solutions of problems are not visible at any particular time does not mean that those problems will never be alleviated -- or confined to tolerable dimensions. history has a way of changing the very terms in which problems operate and of leaving them, in the end, unsolved, to be sure, yet strangely deflated of their original meaning and importance.
-m. i. abramowitz

Wednesday

action and passive aggression

2/20/08

"one man may hit the mark, another blunder; but heed not these distinctions. only from the alliance of the one, working with and through the other, are great things born.'
-antoine de saint-exupery

my head is spinning. the past week or so has been terribly busy. there have been meetings and trainings and phone calls. everything is rolling right along, and i'm tired, but it's alright. i'm getting prospective job opportunities as well as doing a ton of networking events.

so far, it seems like i've been doing a lot of complaining. there have been a lot of external factors in this, in addition to my dissatisfaction with what i thought the program was going to be. i've recently had another eureka moment: it really is what you make of it. for example, i came into public allies expecting this whirlwind of life-changing opportunity, ferocious activism, and lifelong camaraderie. as a result of my expectations, i was comparing what was actually going on to what i thought should be going on and felt disappointed that i wasn't able to do more.

but who's been stopping me from doing more? certainly not public allies. in fact, it's been a key to the city. when i say, "i'm an ally," people give me the opportunity to do whatever it is i'm trying to do. public allies has put me in a position to move, and it seems like people take me seriously now. it was my mistake to think i knew what was supposed to happen, and as a result, my fault for not getting where i wanted to be.

obviously, i've been giving all of this a lot of thought.

something else i have been giving a lot of thought to is the general process of the tsp project. i've been to every meeting, taken notes, and done incredible work in preparing documents, but my team has a palpable disdain for me. when i make a suggestion, i'm immediately attacked, only to hear the same suggestion made by someone else ten minutes later.

at first, i thought everyone was just out to get me, but after i while, i came to the conclusion that i was the cause of some of the aggression. i've been working on a lot of personal stuff since mid-year (particularly, being over-bearing) and made an effort to tone it down a bit. now, i feel i'm functioning at a stellar level, but more than ever i can sense the anger from my teammates.

sunday was a bad day weather-wise, and i had to drive back from racine after spending the weekend with samadhi. about ten, i called one of my teammates and told him i might not be able to make it to the meeting because my mom didn't want me to drive in the fog and freeze. i stayed until about 2 pm.

when i arrived home, it was already 2:30 (the time the meeting was scheduled to begin) so i decided to stay home and spare myself the disaster of driving again. i got a phone call from a team member asking about another member's number. i gave her the number and explained what was happening with me. she said that was fine, and we hung up.

as soon as i hung up the phone, something shifted inside, and i felt like i had to get to that meeting. i got into my aunt's car and headed downtown, keeping an eye out for other allies waiting for busses along the way.

the group was in convening in an apartment in some downtown lofts, so i caught the elevator up to the 14th floor and headed in. as i opened the door, i felt so much anger that i actually got sick to my stomach. it was as if no one wanted me there at all, and i actually felt that i shouldn't have come at all.

i apologized for being late, and sat down uncomfortably. fallicy, one of the team members smiled at me and told me she was happy i could make it. that was reassuring, considering the tone of the room.

we had the meeting, and after everyone left, i asked what was going on. turns out, my instincts were right on. people were upset that i was going to miss the meeting simply because they'd come. they didn't want my contribution, they didn't care about any of the work. it was about having to be accountable in spite of the fact that i've been more than dedicated.

the whole thing made me upset. i know people were saying things about my character before i waled into the door, but fell silent as soon as i was there to stand for myself. i wish someone would have said something to me, rather than being so passive aggresive about the whole situation. since we've had all this training on expressing thoughts and ideas, why can't we use it in our groups? what about when we aren't in public allies anymore? isn't this the best place to practice using these tools, and to incorporate authentic communication into our everyday lives?

water rolls off the backs of ducks; they float along in spite of the rain.

walnut way

2/6/08

it's snowing insanely. we're expected to get anywhere from 10 to 20 inches of snow. i think that's maddness! still, coming in to work today was kind of an adventure. the busses ran on time, i got here at 8 and found out we're shutting her down at noon. nice!

many of the other placements sites are also closed, so i'm not too worried. besides, there are a few things i've got to work on. yesterday, i went over to walnut way to hammer down the details of our teaspoon project.

first, i met with nicole. she showed me around the building, which is a classic home that was rehabilitated by the neighborhood residents (but primarily sharon's husband) to serve as a community center. the places is gorgeous, most of the woodwork is period, salvaged from other homes that have long since been torn down. the house is the office of the walnut way conservation corporation, as well as the headquarters for the fondy farmer's market.

as nicole and i talked out some of the finer issues with the porject, sharon came in. we all sat down and talked about what they want and need, as well as what the ASSET team would be able to provide. i really enjoyed talking to sharon. she was a kind woman with an obvious passion for what she does.

the center has all kinds of programs going to serve the residents, but the most visible one is the gardening stuff, which emphasizes sustainability. walnut way has several production gardens which are used as classrooms for those interested in learning the skills. particularly, the gardens are geared towards educating young people on economics and future: the kids grow and work the garden, sell the produce at market, and ultimately open up banking accounts to manage their own money.

i used to live over in that neighborhood (part time) when i was young. it was rough. now, it seems like things are starting to look up. i had a discussion with sharon about origins of neighborhood folk in particular, a topic of interest to me because my family is from mississippi. she told me that the black folks are a mixture of northerners and southerners, and that even in those splits, there are smaller groups. she said that peoples' gardens reflected their homes, and if the home was good, that was a wonderful thing. she briefly went into a discussion on the views of a sharecropper's outlook on gardening versus someone who grew up remembering their grandparent's fruit orchards.

i encourage anyone interested in seeing asset-based community development in action to check out walnut way. also, one of the things i really liked about their site was a link to a uwm project on multiculturalism. check it out here, and when you're done, head over to walnut way!



Tuesday

new year. new you.

1/08/08

happy new year. no really.

i rang it in at stonefly, courtesy of our very own geraud blanks. there was booty-shakin' a-plenty, good times and good beer.

so far, the year has been filled with a plethora of excitement, buzz, and creativity. i've decided that, in lieu of the traditional new year's resolution to "eat right and get fit," i'm taking matters into my own hands. after all, i just discovered putein*. my life will never be the same.

rather than making myself miserable by stuffing my face full of celery and packing peanuts (are those low carb???), i've decided to implement the hula-hoop exercises plan. every day, i'm trying to fit in one half hour of hula hooping, supplemented by at least a mile of running or walking. i decided this would work. and hey, hula hooping is fun!

onto more substantial things than my vanity...

we've sent out our tsp requests for proposals. it's sort of exciting to see what kinds of suggestions we'll get. even more of a mystery is what the other tsp groups are going with: how they laid out their rfp's, who they sent them to, what they're planning.

we've decided to call our team ASSET (Advance Sustainable Social Equality Together). isn't that clever? ideally, we've hoping our TSP will address youth issues, some sort of possible forum.. we're crossing our fingers.

our group is also having some issues with attendance and accountability. a few of the members really haven't put anything into the process. it seems like that's just the way it's going to be, and we'll have to work around that.

oh allies. friday trainings and the whole ordeal are beginning to get complicated. people are getting upset about the sense of a lack of direction. where is this program headed? what is the point? these are the questions that are arising.

just before christmas break, we had a huge blowout. it was about race. i am curious to see what will happen with that, what kind of approach our class will take: are we going to tackle issues, or simply ignore them until they go away? it seems that people have their opinions, but are too scared to come out and speak about them.


mid year is coming up. it's going to be interesting to see what happens when we're all trapped together for 3 days. will people deal with issues, or will they be swept under the rug while we all pretend the world is a wonderful place?


*.(read: french fries coated in cheese and gravy. amazing!)
 

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