i found this on youtube. how very inspirational.
cheers to the dreamers.
Friday
christmas at the cross.
12/28/07
this week has been both good and bad. i had four days in a row off, which was also a mixed blessing. i needed the break, but wish i had more to look forward to over those days. my first christmas as a mother was spent alone in a cold house waiting for something. i don't know what i was waiting for, but i think it did not come. what did come, was an awkward day of watching sitcoms.
the week was bustling. matthew is leaving for mexico today for the year of good works; i am again being left behind. i am going to miss him more than i'm prepared to admit. he spent the week flitting in and out of my sight, running last minute errands and still trying to keep me happy. he booked a lovely night at county clare and we had a little holiday in the midst of everyone else's holidays.
i also decided i will no longer be celebrating christmas. it broke my heart to be without my son, and so i am boycotting the holiday. from this point on, the family paradise will exclusively be celebrating kwanzaa.
by the way, today is the day to celebrate ujima, or collective work and responsibility. happy ujima, everyone! i really encourage everyone who is of african descent to look into this kwanzaa thing. it's very community-based.
one of my good friends was arrested last night. i got a call from a stranger informing me that this friend smashed into a fence, and was drunk, but alright. his drinking has been driving a wedge into our friendship, and the result is this final mess. i am worried about him.
a lot of things have been happening as a result of people binge drinking. i don't think that drinking is inherently bad, but it needs to be done in a safe, responsible manner. if you, or someone you know may be overindulging in an unsafe manner, please check out this article in the milwaukee journal sentinel. it might be helpful. it might even save a life.
yesterday, the new executive director arranged a potluck for the staff here. we all ate a bunch of bad for you food and eggnog and played a game of kind of jeopardy. it was really cute, because tracy was really excited about the idea of the game, but hadn't exactly worked out the kinks. it was fun to play a game with my co-workers, and our team even came in second place. our reward? a set of post-it notes, keychain first-aid kit, a tube of carmex, and a pouch of hot chocolate.
another really nice thing was a first year overtaking of a family tradition. since the decimation of my own nuclear family, my brother and sister have been amazing supports. they call and check on me, listen to me rant, and offer shoulders (but mosty tissues) to cry on. what we used to do when we all ived at home was renting a movie christmas eve and eating dinner. last night, my brother and sister came over to eat grilled cheese sandwiches and soup, and also brought me presents. i got some stuff, but the best present was when my sister popped her head in with MY BABY!!!
it was so nice to get to see him without the pretenses of dealing with other people's rules. we got to play and eat and sing together with matt and cyndi and spencer and zack. it was really a great surprise. we also got to watch some most extreme elimination challenge. brilliant.
today there is a snowstorm. essentially, that is what this year has been to me. i've lost so much, and gained so much all at once. i am hoping that this coming year will be a good one. i am looking forward to the homecoming of my son, and to the completion of this project. i hope to do great things, and so i shall.
"Go to the people. Learn from them. Live with them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. The best of leaders when the job is done, when the task is accomplished, the people will say we have done it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
Thursday
charm school and teaspoons
our friday trainer last week dubbed our team service project "the teaspoon."
how quaint. i think i like it.
we've begun meeting pretty regularly for the teaspoon. it's quite stressful, never the bearer of drink-sweetening goodness. it seems everyone is hesitant, tense. some of us are already anticipating working around those failing to meet minimum project requirements.
i started drafting the request for proposals as well as a cover letter. i was quickly reminded of the struggles i face as a writer. it's hard to begin, and even when you overcome that barrier, it isn't easy to continue. i managed to get it done.
presenting my hard work to the rest of the teaspoon team, i was torn to bits. not so much on the content of the letter, but the form. yes, i used standard RFP professional form, and sent it out for corrections. our meeting dwelled in that dangerous place. on the verge of cannibalism, teaspoons clanking against each other in a fury.
i picked up a copy of a local publication called citigal. inside, there was an article on why women are seldom successful in the business world. the author, melanie beres, called it "relational agression." it's basically when women tear each other apart to advance, never considering the cost of the damage. (she, of course, put it more eloquently.)
i like the fact that rather than just bitching about it, beres is putting her money where her mouth is. she's running a competition to groom young women into professionals while helping a few female-centric non-profits. beres is challenging women ages 20-30 to submit a 500-word essay on why they should be chosen for this project, called citigal charm school.
the charm school touts the ability to connect young professional females with business mentors who are women(!!!!), and to help lead them down the rocky path that is the corporate world. also, the winners get cold, hard, cash.
the top 12 essays are selected, and put into pairs. each team is assigned a non-profit (the women's fund, iou sports, cream city foundation, planned parenthood, coa youth and family centers, and the ophelia project) to hold fundraising events for. at the end, the team that raises the most money gets the $1000.
back to the point. i suppose that's the way i feel at allies sometimes. the ladies are hardly that, and are, in fact, unabashedly cruel to each other sometimes. i would like to see more of the principals of PA acknowledged in the participants. myself included. i'm no saint; but i mean well.
anywho, for those of you who would be interested in putting those skills to use, and also gaining more experience in business or nonprofit, submit your 500 word essays on why you should be chosen to citigal.wi.rr.com.
and by the way, which one is the teaspoon? or the salad fork?
how quaint. i think i like it.
we've begun meeting pretty regularly for the teaspoon. it's quite stressful, never the bearer of drink-sweetening goodness. it seems everyone is hesitant, tense. some of us are already anticipating working around those failing to meet minimum project requirements.
i started drafting the request for proposals as well as a cover letter. i was quickly reminded of the struggles i face as a writer. it's hard to begin, and even when you overcome that barrier, it isn't easy to continue. i managed to get it done.
presenting my hard work to the rest of the teaspoon team, i was torn to bits. not so much on the content of the letter, but the form. yes, i used standard RFP professional form, and sent it out for corrections. our meeting dwelled in that dangerous place. on the verge of cannibalism, teaspoons clanking against each other in a fury.
i picked up a copy of a local publication called citigal. inside, there was an article on why women are seldom successful in the business world. the author, melanie beres, called it "relational agression." it's basically when women tear each other apart to advance, never considering the cost of the damage. (she, of course, put it more eloquently.)
i like the fact that rather than just bitching about it, beres is putting her money where her mouth is. she's running a competition to groom young women into professionals while helping a few female-centric non-profits. beres is challenging women ages 20-30 to submit a 500-word essay on why they should be chosen for this project, called citigal charm school.
the charm school touts the ability to connect young professional females with business mentors who are women(!!!!), and to help lead them down the rocky path that is the corporate world. also, the winners get cold, hard, cash.
the top 12 essays are selected, and put into pairs. each team is assigned a non-profit (the women's fund, iou sports, cream city foundation, planned parenthood, coa youth and family centers, and the ophelia project) to hold fundraising events for. at the end, the team that raises the most money gets the $1000.
back to the point. i suppose that's the way i feel at allies sometimes. the ladies are hardly that, and are, in fact, unabashedly cruel to each other sometimes. i would like to see more of the principals of PA acknowledged in the participants. myself included. i'm no saint; but i mean well.
anywho, for those of you who would be interested in putting those skills to use, and also gaining more experience in business or nonprofit, submit your 500 word essays on why you should be chosen to citigal.wi.rr.com.
and by the way, which one is the teaspoon? or the salad fork?
Wednesday
out brief candle.
12/12/07
it's been a while, but much has passed. of course, we had a friday training session, but there was also a tragic event.
in order not to lose my thoughts on it, i'd like to cover the friday training. we met at the LGBT center again on court street. the training was called "diversity and oppression: heterosexism" and the facilitator was our own todd wellman of the national PA office.
in spite of his attempts to make it more about the normalization of heterosexist ideas, i do feel it was largely about homosexual culture. todd did a good job of making the topic more approachable for those among us who perhaps are insecure about their sexuality, or for those who blatantly oppose the idea of the LGBT community. we covered the terms 'homophobia' and 'heterosexism' thoroughly, which set the tone for our discussion.
breaking off into groups, we were assigned a list of questions to discuss. i found that most people grew up with negative introductions to homosexuality from either their families or church groups. for me, it was hard to understand. i grew up in a pretty accepting family, speckled with not only LGBT members, but also more multiracial children than singular ethnicity babies. from this experience, i likened the idea of being LGBT to that of being black.
black, to me, isn't something that needs explaining. it doesn't need to be discussed in a serious manner, nor does it need to be frowned upon. if you are black, you just are. likewise for me if you are LGBT.
many of the females in the program identify with the LGBT community. in fact, many of us have had same-sex or 'non-traditional' relationships. to my knowledge, none of the men have openly admitted to any experience and in fact shut down. is it because they are afraid of being identified as gay? not men?
this also sparks in interest in me as far as the overall demographic of society: most of the men in our group are minorities. traditionally, minority men are the least likely to speak on the topics in a positive way. also, we were missing 1 of our three white males... what would his opinion have been? would he have been comfortable sharing it? what about the latino community? so many of us are accustomed to the white and black views on the topic.
i will say i was surprised that it went as well as it did. there was one thing that i would have liked to change though. at the end of the discussion, there was a fishbowl exercises where several self-identified LGBT sat in the center of the group ad had a discussion on what it was like to be 'queer.' i understand the intention as to make this aspect of living more accessible in terms of personalizing the issue, but i don't really feel it's effective. because there is so much stigma attached, i think this exercise would have been best done anonymously. that way, i feel that more of the 'closeted' LGBT allies would have contributed.
drawing from my own experience, i guess the topic was something we needed to have. i just wish it might have gone in another direction. todd did a good job, and we got through a lot of work on friday that must have left people thinking.
now, for the other event. monday morning, i got into my office to find one of my coworkers had committed suicide sunday afternoon. i wrote a reflection on it, but didn't feel right putting it up right away. i wanted to let my feelings mature on it a bit more before i really put it out there for everyone to see. here's the bit i did. it's incomplete and barely cohesive, but for posterity, i think the truth of it maintains some of the integrity.
12/10/07
last night i dreamed a strange dream about being taken to some kind of emotional studies with a bizarre psychologist in a white lab coat. the building was sterile, brushed steel and fluorescent bulbs. there were televisions playing clips of young girls writhing in cages (no older than me). they were fetishized, in pvc clothing and pancaked makeup. it was important for some reason. the psychologist kept asking me how i felt, what did the images mean to me? he pried. it was disturbing for some reason.
this morning i got into my office, the new executive director came into my office quickly and quietly. i felt heavy, unsure. one of my co-workers committed suicide this weekend, jumped off a bridge on sunday afternoon.
what do you say to that? it's a different kind of environment, you spend time with these people out of necessity, but find yourself developing relationships. i didn't know this gentleman very well, but everyone at work has become so close. he's been working here since 1994 and a ton of people were close to him, including my boss.
veronica came into the office this morning shortly after me. she was so happy, one smile away from bursting into song. i panicked. knowing i wasn't the appropriate person to tell her the news, i insisted she please speak to the chapter executive.
a few moments later, i heard wailing and sobs. again, i panicked. what does one do? (one does what one must, right?) veronica is a very religious person, so she was grieving for a close friend who had taken his life.
people are wearing their grief openly here. i don't exactly know how to go about handling this situation. everyone here is so close, they've been here so long. it's as if a piece of everyone has gone.
i am not sure where to fit in to all of this. i am here, and their emotions affect me greatly. especially veronica, because she's making a great effort to be there for me through all my own issues. she encourages me, and still offers time-tested wisdom.
so, that's what i came up with. i'm not going to try and encapsulate it. there's nothing more to say about it. it just makes you realize that life truly can stop at any moment, people are hurting inside whether you know it or not. love one another, and take care.
it's been a while, but much has passed. of course, we had a friday training session, but there was also a tragic event.
in order not to lose my thoughts on it, i'd like to cover the friday training. we met at the LGBT center again on court street. the training was called "diversity and oppression: heterosexism" and the facilitator was our own todd wellman of the national PA office.
in spite of his attempts to make it more about the normalization of heterosexist ideas, i do feel it was largely about homosexual culture. todd did a good job of making the topic more approachable for those among us who perhaps are insecure about their sexuality, or for those who blatantly oppose the idea of the LGBT community. we covered the terms 'homophobia' and 'heterosexism' thoroughly, which set the tone for our discussion.
breaking off into groups, we were assigned a list of questions to discuss. i found that most people grew up with negative introductions to homosexuality from either their families or church groups. for me, it was hard to understand. i grew up in a pretty accepting family, speckled with not only LGBT members, but also more multiracial children than singular ethnicity babies. from this experience, i likened the idea of being LGBT to that of being black.
black, to me, isn't something that needs explaining. it doesn't need to be discussed in a serious manner, nor does it need to be frowned upon. if you are black, you just are. likewise for me if you are LGBT.
many of the females in the program identify with the LGBT community. in fact, many of us have had same-sex or 'non-traditional' relationships. to my knowledge, none of the men have openly admitted to any experience and in fact shut down. is it because they are afraid of being identified as gay? not men?
this also sparks in interest in me as far as the overall demographic of society: most of the men in our group are minorities. traditionally, minority men are the least likely to speak on the topics in a positive way. also, we were missing 1 of our three white males... what would his opinion have been? would he have been comfortable sharing it? what about the latino community? so many of us are accustomed to the white and black views on the topic.
i will say i was surprised that it went as well as it did. there was one thing that i would have liked to change though. at the end of the discussion, there was a fishbowl exercises where several self-identified LGBT sat in the center of the group ad had a discussion on what it was like to be 'queer.' i understand the intention as to make this aspect of living more accessible in terms of personalizing the issue, but i don't really feel it's effective. because there is so much stigma attached, i think this exercise would have been best done anonymously. that way, i feel that more of the 'closeted' LGBT allies would have contributed.
drawing from my own experience, i guess the topic was something we needed to have. i just wish it might have gone in another direction. todd did a good job, and we got through a lot of work on friday that must have left people thinking.
now, for the other event. monday morning, i got into my office to find one of my coworkers had committed suicide sunday afternoon. i wrote a reflection on it, but didn't feel right putting it up right away. i wanted to let my feelings mature on it a bit more before i really put it out there for everyone to see. here's the bit i did. it's incomplete and barely cohesive, but for posterity, i think the truth of it maintains some of the integrity.
12/10/07
last night i dreamed a strange dream about being taken to some kind of emotional studies with a bizarre psychologist in a white lab coat. the building was sterile, brushed steel and fluorescent bulbs. there were televisions playing clips of young girls writhing in cages (no older than me). they were fetishized, in pvc clothing and pancaked makeup. it was important for some reason. the psychologist kept asking me how i felt, what did the images mean to me? he pried. it was disturbing for some reason.
this morning i got into my office, the new executive director came into my office quickly and quietly. i felt heavy, unsure. one of my co-workers committed suicide this weekend, jumped off a bridge on sunday afternoon.
what do you say to that? it's a different kind of environment, you spend time with these people out of necessity, but find yourself developing relationships. i didn't know this gentleman very well, but everyone at work has become so close. he's been working here since 1994 and a ton of people were close to him, including my boss.
veronica came into the office this morning shortly after me. she was so happy, one smile away from bursting into song. i panicked. knowing i wasn't the appropriate person to tell her the news, i insisted she please speak to the chapter executive.
a few moments later, i heard wailing and sobs. again, i panicked. what does one do? (one does what one must, right?) veronica is a very religious person, so she was grieving for a close friend who had taken his life.
people are wearing their grief openly here. i don't exactly know how to go about handling this situation. everyone here is so close, they've been here so long. it's as if a piece of everyone has gone.
i am not sure where to fit in to all of this. i am here, and their emotions affect me greatly. especially veronica, because she's making a great effort to be there for me through all my own issues. she encourages me, and still offers time-tested wisdom.
so, that's what i came up with. i'm not going to try and encapsulate it. there's nothing more to say about it. it just makes you realize that life truly can stop at any moment, people are hurting inside whether you know it or not. love one another, and take care.
Thursday
sneakers.
12/06/07
there's a guy i work with the the cross who i really get a kick out of talking to. honestly, when he's at the front desk in the morning, i know i'm in for a smile at least. ty and i started our day off this morning discussing the pleasantries of interpersonal relationships, from the friendly hello to the intimate physical warmth. somehow, this led into a discussion about race relations and economic class.
ty is a black man raised on the southside of chicago, so he has a bit of knowledge about rough times. we talk about our pasts as angry black youth openly, and with the miraculous distance of affored hindsight. it's nice to hear the truth of it without any filters, no one to block the exchange based on attempts to "protect me" from that big bad world. ty knows that big bad world tossed me around, too, whether folks want to aknowledge it or not.
a little later, ty swung by my office to ask about some shoes he was looking at for his mom. we rapped a while, as shoes are a very accessible conversation for many folks, namely minorities. we talked about the functionality of specific sneakers; weaknesses we've identified in particular brands, the dependability in our favorites. soon enough though, we were talking about why people spend money on these things (and gadgets and cars and blah blah blah) instead of investing in their communities. we talked about gangbangers and petty criminals and crackheads. we talked about my father, who happened to be all three at one point or another.
something specific that i extracted from the conversation with ty was in regards to the visibility of "poor folks" (the oppressed in ally speak) in this world. we live in a time where people flatly ignore the problems facing a large chunk of people, so long as they are comfortable.
when ty walks home at night through the marquette campus, he said a lot of people immediately cross the street with the assumption that he is going to ask for money, or worse, engage them. occasionally, they would say hello, but more often than not, he could sense that they were afraid of him.
for him, there is the constant reality of fear; because he doesn't look like your average marquette student, ty is considered a threat. in reality, ty is a giving person who is more than willing to hear you out, let you do what you need to do and smile in spite of your attitude. so, to avoid making anyone uncomfortable, ty started crossing the street. he said, when you get to be my age, the battle isn't worth it.
but i say, what is the battle? i pay taxes, so i pay for side walks. my rights aren't based on the color of my skin, how much money i have (or don't have), or my mental capacity; my rights are grounded in the pure fact that i am a member of this society.
that's right. it's not a battle, it's an assertion of my existence. my sneakers and i have some sidewalks to claim.
there's a guy i work with the the cross who i really get a kick out of talking to. honestly, when he's at the front desk in the morning, i know i'm in for a smile at least. ty and i started our day off this morning discussing the pleasantries of interpersonal relationships, from the friendly hello to the intimate physical warmth. somehow, this led into a discussion about race relations and economic class.
ty is a black man raised on the southside of chicago, so he has a bit of knowledge about rough times. we talk about our pasts as angry black youth openly, and with the miraculous distance of affored hindsight. it's nice to hear the truth of it without any filters, no one to block the exchange based on attempts to "protect me" from that big bad world. ty knows that big bad world tossed me around, too, whether folks want to aknowledge it or not.
a little later, ty swung by my office to ask about some shoes he was looking at for his mom. we rapped a while, as shoes are a very accessible conversation for many folks, namely minorities. we talked about the functionality of specific sneakers; weaknesses we've identified in particular brands, the dependability in our favorites. soon enough though, we were talking about why people spend money on these things (and gadgets and cars and blah blah blah) instead of investing in their communities. we talked about gangbangers and petty criminals and crackheads. we talked about my father, who happened to be all three at one point or another.
something specific that i extracted from the conversation with ty was in regards to the visibility of "poor folks" (the oppressed in ally speak) in this world. we live in a time where people flatly ignore the problems facing a large chunk of people, so long as they are comfortable.
when ty walks home at night through the marquette campus, he said a lot of people immediately cross the street with the assumption that he is going to ask for money, or worse, engage them. occasionally, they would say hello, but more often than not, he could sense that they were afraid of him.
for him, there is the constant reality of fear; because he doesn't look like your average marquette student, ty is considered a threat. in reality, ty is a giving person who is more than willing to hear you out, let you do what you need to do and smile in spite of your attitude. so, to avoid making anyone uncomfortable, ty started crossing the street. he said, when you get to be my age, the battle isn't worth it.
but i say, what is the battle? i pay taxes, so i pay for side walks. my rights aren't based on the color of my skin, how much money i have (or don't have), or my mental capacity; my rights are grounded in the pure fact that i am a member of this society.
that's right. it's not a battle, it's an assertion of my existence. my sneakers and i have some sidewalks to claim.
Wednesday
the trading post
12/05/07
as a direct result of make a difference day organizing, my office here at the red cross has become a sort of trading post for non-profits in need of stuff. at first, i sent out a solicitation email letting everyone here know that we were collecting toiletries for the guesthouse. the response was awesome, as one of the people from disaster relief (melissa, i think.... is anyone picking up that i am terrible with names?) donated a ton of toiletries to us, as well as an overall positive response by the rest of the red cross staff.
so, all these toiletries were shipped on over to guesthouse, and life moved on. it was quite lovely, i felt good about myself and earned a gold star on my belt of humanity, etc... and so i continued with my presentations and events.
a few weeks ago, a lady who volunteers with one of the other departments came into my office. apparently, she'd also received the email and was coming to drop some things off for the event. during our exchange, she remarked on a stack of boxes piled haphazardly in the corner of my office. i told her that these boxes were remnants of some grand plan, left over batteries from a donation campaign that didn't go as planned (apparently, double a batteries are not very popular in the disaster realm). so in my office they sat, abandoned and lonely, occasionally dipped into by co-workers for am/fm radios and such.
the woman had a light bulb moment. would it be possible for her to take some of the batteries? she had a connection over at the habitat for humanity restore project. i consulted with my boss, and it was an a-ok deal. presto, four of those boxes of batteries found new homes helping another nonprofit. add another gold star, i feel good.
now, a few weeks ago, i sent out a call for help to fellow allies. i've been having problems scheduling presentations. veronica told me it's pretty slow this time of year, but i just feel like i could be doing more. as a result of this call, one of my fellow allies actually spread the word. michael's mom gave me a call, and in addition to wanting a presentation, she asked me if i would be able to help out with a couple different projects she's been working on. being poor as i am, i was regretful that i could only help with the presentations, but i kept her in mind.
yesterday, around 2 pm, melissa... which i am certain is not her name... came into my office and asked if i could use some more stuff. then, it was my turn for a light bulb moment. i was excited to track down audrey, michael's mom, to say that i did in fact have some things she could have! another gold star.
i think that being a part of the chain of progress is where i fit in best. matt and i were talking last night about my interests as a means to determine what direction i should head career-wise. i determined that i am interested in business, but am not so much driven by money as by success. (for some people, those two things are very much that same.) this series of events is, in my opinion, very much success. someone heard about this project, and kept it in mind. others had things to offer, and so the first part was successful. after the event, people were still willing, and that allowed for help in other ways (to audrey's projects.) it makes me happy.
i'm actually getting to implement some good working ideas and see some tangible progress. it's not theory, but practical; these things are physically helping people.
i'm looking forward to the TSP. i've been reading a lot about service learning, and feel like this is the time for me to practice all the skills i've hoped to hone. with guidance and sugestions from fellow allies, program managers and community leaders, i can't imagine this going wrong. our team has a lot of motivation and passion for change, so i'm looking forward to see what we come up with.
as a direct result of make a difference day organizing, my office here at the red cross has become a sort of trading post for non-profits in need of stuff. at first, i sent out a solicitation email letting everyone here know that we were collecting toiletries for the guesthouse. the response was awesome, as one of the people from disaster relief (melissa, i think.... is anyone picking up that i am terrible with names?) donated a ton of toiletries to us, as well as an overall positive response by the rest of the red cross staff.
so, all these toiletries were shipped on over to guesthouse, and life moved on. it was quite lovely, i felt good about myself and earned a gold star on my belt of humanity, etc... and so i continued with my presentations and events.
a few weeks ago, a lady who volunteers with one of the other departments came into my office. apparently, she'd also received the email and was coming to drop some things off for the event. during our exchange, she remarked on a stack of boxes piled haphazardly in the corner of my office. i told her that these boxes were remnants of some grand plan, left over batteries from a donation campaign that didn't go as planned (apparently, double a batteries are not very popular in the disaster realm). so in my office they sat, abandoned and lonely, occasionally dipped into by co-workers for am/fm radios and such.
the woman had a light bulb moment. would it be possible for her to take some of the batteries? she had a connection over at the habitat for humanity restore project. i consulted with my boss, and it was an a-ok deal. presto, four of those boxes of batteries found new homes helping another nonprofit. add another gold star, i feel good.
now, a few weeks ago, i sent out a call for help to fellow allies. i've been having problems scheduling presentations. veronica told me it's pretty slow this time of year, but i just feel like i could be doing more. as a result of this call, one of my fellow allies actually spread the word. michael's mom gave me a call, and in addition to wanting a presentation, she asked me if i would be able to help out with a couple different projects she's been working on. being poor as i am, i was regretful that i could only help with the presentations, but i kept her in mind.
yesterday, around 2 pm, melissa... which i am certain is not her name... came into my office and asked if i could use some more stuff. then, it was my turn for a light bulb moment. i was excited to track down audrey, michael's mom, to say that i did in fact have some things she could have! another gold star.
i think that being a part of the chain of progress is where i fit in best. matt and i were talking last night about my interests as a means to determine what direction i should head career-wise. i determined that i am interested in business, but am not so much driven by money as by success. (for some people, those two things are very much that same.) this series of events is, in my opinion, very much success. someone heard about this project, and kept it in mind. others had things to offer, and so the first part was successful. after the event, people were still willing, and that allowed for help in other ways (to audrey's projects.) it makes me happy.
i'm actually getting to implement some good working ideas and see some tangible progress. it's not theory, but practical; these things are physically helping people.
i'm looking forward to the TSP. i've been reading a lot about service learning, and feel like this is the time for me to practice all the skills i've hoped to hone. with guidance and sugestions from fellow allies, program managers and community leaders, i can't imagine this going wrong. our team has a lot of motivation and passion for change, so i'm looking forward to see what we come up with.
Monday
call 911, then pick an issue
12/3/07
howdy folks. it's been a while, but things are moving along. had a relatively leisurely week last week, and even had a good time at friday training. alicia had her baby, so the world needs to make room for cassidy james.
part of my placement is to give presentations to various community groups, 90 over the period of the internship. last month, i had a few presentations in different settings that gave me some idea about the degrees of difference in pockets of society.
my first round of presentations was at cass street school for the students. i went from classroom to classroom and talked to the kids about fire safety while the teachers hushed them (some even outright yelled). the kids were attentive, mostly interested despite having been told this a number of times, and over all fairly polite for five through ten year olds. they called me "miss ricks" and it made me grossly aware of my slow aging, the widening gap between between their playground freedom and my daily imprisonment to the office, shackled in place by a knotted-up phone cord.
the next presentation i want to reflect on was one i did at aurora adult day center. please know that i am blatantly ignorant about the living conditions of the elderly other than in ways displayed on such quality programming as "oprah" or even "the gilmore girls." going to the center was a little sad for me. it wasn't dirty or ugly or anything, but there was this overwhelming sense of gloom everywhere. the adults seemed lonely, some demented and confused; a few were doing art projects that would undoubtedly be thrown away within a matter of hours. these folks were very glad to be ushered into a room with me, but not so inclined to hear what i had to say. i found myself struggling as a young person trying to pass along knowledge to people who were a half century older than me or better. what could i possibly say to them that they hadn't already heard? here, i experienced the joy of being a mere space filler, a social gathering where the senior folks cajoled one another, even hooted and hollered a bit. i may as well have been speaking to myself.
my final presentation was at a local crime analysis meeting at the district 6 police station. this part, in fact, has absolutely nothing to do with my presentations, but more to do with increasing paranoia in the general population. there were a collection of angry citizens (most of whom were also much older than myself, and 3000% more likely to call the police than i am) as well as a few aldermen and assorted police types. for about 45 minutes, the officers discussed the lack of safety on the south side, and why people needed to call the police CONSTANTLY. someone in your backyard? call 911. are there a few kids milling around? 911. are you tired of those pesky renters? call 911. silly me, i thought 911 was an emergency response thing.
ok, friday training. i thought friday training went pretty well. granted, dave informed me that the cute guy from the beginning of year trolley ride was initially supposed to do this community organizing training, but the fellow (i think his name was steve*, so for all intensive purposes from now on, i will refer to him as such) who did it was pretty interesting to me.
he began the session by pointing out that he was NOT a community organizer. no, in fact he was a professor ( but you know what they say, those who can't...) but in my opinion, i felt he had the theory dead-on. starting by covering very bluntly what organizing was not (activism, mobilizing, and other half-baked intentions), he told us that everyone is not meant to be an organizer. he said that people were addressing insurmountable problems instead of focusing on tacklable issues. while giving examples, steve sort of cut sharply at particular jobs and organization missions, essentially saying they weren't important because they weren't getting anything done. people were offended at this, in spite of complaining about not making a change at their organization. it brought up arthur's previous point about the non-profits: shouldn't they exist to put themselves out of business?
so, that is basically where i'm at with that, with the exception of TSP. more on that later. congrats alicia.
*turns out his name is in fact aaron schutz. all apologies.
howdy folks. it's been a while, but things are moving along. had a relatively leisurely week last week, and even had a good time at friday training. alicia had her baby, so the world needs to make room for cassidy james.
part of my placement is to give presentations to various community groups, 90 over the period of the internship. last month, i had a few presentations in different settings that gave me some idea about the degrees of difference in pockets of society.
my first round of presentations was at cass street school for the students. i went from classroom to classroom and talked to the kids about fire safety while the teachers hushed them (some even outright yelled). the kids were attentive, mostly interested despite having been told this a number of times, and over all fairly polite for five through ten year olds. they called me "miss ricks" and it made me grossly aware of my slow aging, the widening gap between between their playground freedom and my daily imprisonment to the office, shackled in place by a knotted-up phone cord.
the next presentation i want to reflect on was one i did at aurora adult day center. please know that i am blatantly ignorant about the living conditions of the elderly other than in ways displayed on such quality programming as "oprah" or even "the gilmore girls." going to the center was a little sad for me. it wasn't dirty or ugly or anything, but there was this overwhelming sense of gloom everywhere. the adults seemed lonely, some demented and confused; a few were doing art projects that would undoubtedly be thrown away within a matter of hours. these folks were very glad to be ushered into a room with me, but not so inclined to hear what i had to say. i found myself struggling as a young person trying to pass along knowledge to people who were a half century older than me or better. what could i possibly say to them that they hadn't already heard? here, i experienced the joy of being a mere space filler, a social gathering where the senior folks cajoled one another, even hooted and hollered a bit. i may as well have been speaking to myself.
my final presentation was at a local crime analysis meeting at the district 6 police station. this part, in fact, has absolutely nothing to do with my presentations, but more to do with increasing paranoia in the general population. there were a collection of angry citizens (most of whom were also much older than myself, and 3000% more likely to call the police than i am) as well as a few aldermen and assorted police types. for about 45 minutes, the officers discussed the lack of safety on the south side, and why people needed to call the police CONSTANTLY. someone in your backyard? call 911. are there a few kids milling around? 911. are you tired of those pesky renters? call 911. silly me, i thought 911 was an emergency response thing.
ok, friday training. i thought friday training went pretty well. granted, dave informed me that the cute guy from the beginning of year trolley ride was initially supposed to do this community organizing training, but the fellow (i think his name was steve*, so for all intensive purposes from now on, i will refer to him as such) who did it was pretty interesting to me.
he began the session by pointing out that he was NOT a community organizer. no, in fact he was a professor ( but you know what they say, those who can't...) but in my opinion, i felt he had the theory dead-on. starting by covering very bluntly what organizing was not (activism, mobilizing, and other half-baked intentions), he told us that everyone is not meant to be an organizer. he said that people were addressing insurmountable problems instead of focusing on tacklable issues. while giving examples, steve sort of cut sharply at particular jobs and organization missions, essentially saying they weren't important because they weren't getting anything done. people were offended at this, in spite of complaining about not making a change at their organization. it brought up arthur's previous point about the non-profits: shouldn't they exist to put themselves out of business?
so, that is basically where i'm at with that, with the exception of TSP. more on that later. congrats alicia.
*turns out his name is in fact aaron schutz. all apologies.
Tuesday
we are all leaders, we have to be. there are no big i’s or little u’s
i sat down today with reuben harpole from the helen bader foundation and asked him some questions. we had a good time, and he put some knowledge on me.
me: ok, i made a list of things i wanted to ask you about. the first thing i wanted to ask you is how you got into non-profits.
reuben: i was asked. i had worked at the university of wisconsin for 31 years, actually maybe a little bit longer and after i stopped, i retired and dan bader, president of the helen bader foundation came and asked me how would i like to keep on doing what i was doing, which was working with children and youth. he said, only i’ll pay you and give you a budget. it was a no-brainer.
m: so it was kind of a transitional thing?
r: yes, just because dan saw something in me that of course i didn’t see in myself and he pulled me over.
m: what does the helen bader organization do, or foundation, rather?
r: the foundation itself got started because dan and david bader’s mother had passed and she left $150 million and they decided to put into a foundation and help the community based on what she dreamed. her dreams were music; alzheimer’s, because she worked at the jewish center so she cared about the elderly and the struggles they were having; and then she cared about low-income people like us. so they fashioned or molded her foundations around her principles and ideas, the things she believed in and loved. so that’s what we have; i work with children and youth and low-income people... we have something called community initiative and the community initiative is something that we don’t have a program area for. we have something called program-related investments where we help groups that are trying to get started but they don’t have enough collateral and so we’ll help them get started. then we have something called economic development…
m: economic development for individuals or for businesses or what is that?
r: all of that. they’ve taken north avenue all the way from 60th street all the way down to 4th street; all that development you see around 35th street, that new frozen custard place you see that’s going up, and the philips station, all that. and the university. over 11 years they’ve given $12 million to the university of wisconsin. since helen received her master’s degree in social welfare, the foundation gave in her honor $5 million to the school of social welfare and it’s named after her now; the helen bader school for social welfare. then they gave a million dollars to the institute for non-profit, helen bader institute for non-profit.
m: i’m looking into those for non-profit management certification…
r:If you wanted to get into that, that is where you would go and get your master’s.
m:i have to get my bachelor’s first, i’ve been looking into it at alverno. it’s tough, you know.
r: let me give you that right now www.blackexcel.org . it’s 200 websites for you, they say black students aren’t applying.
m: aren’t applying?
r: are not applying, including the bill and melinda gates foundation which is strictly for black students. 335 million for black students.
m: i would love to apply, that’s kind of why i am in this program. it helps you obviously with the experience, experience learning, and hands-on seeing what i want to do. then, getting the education benefit at the end is really nice. some of the local universities have fellowships with americorps and other service fellowships where you can go and get your master’s degree afterwards. marquette university is one of them, the trinity fellows program.
r: that’s fantastic, i didn’t know about the trinity fellows.
m: something that i am having a problem with in this job, and these kinds of jobs, is that i always feel like i’m stuck in a rut. like i’m not doing anything, not doing enough. what could you recommend or suggest?
r: i’d love to have you work with me. in terms of volunteering, there’s something we’ve got called “homework first” where you would adopt a school, take maybe the third grade class in that school and stop by at least once a month, but if you have time once a week, and check the kids in the room. whichever room you take, check to see that the kids are doing their homework. the teacher will have a board up in the room; if they missed their homework, there will be a black spot.
so if you catch a kid not doing their homework, you pull them aside and talk to them out in the hallway. say, “hey, what’s wrong with you? why aren’t you doing your work?” and they’ll come up with all kinds of stories. then you tell them, “look, are you smart or are you dumb?” no one wants to be dumb so, they’ll say “no, no, i’m smart.” “so if you’re smart, do your homework. what do you want to become when you grow up? whatever it is that you want to become when you grow up, you’re still gonna have to do your homework.” you just urge them on to be the best that they can become, because we need them.
there are a lot of other places where you can organize too, there’s a place called “pearls for girls” and they work with about 500 young ladies over on the corner of clarke and palmer. that’s denae gordon. or on the southside there’s another great one called…. well, i forgot the name of it but it will come back to me.
m: i just feel like i can’t get enough done, or like what i’m doing is just not important enough.
r: so, what are you doing?
m: right now i work here in community disaster education, i go to schools and talk to kids about fire safety, community centers; i talk to families, elderly, talk to a lot of minorities and the latino community, spreading the message about things people take for granted as far as safety is concerned. i'm working with the 6th district of the milwaukee police department on 27th street and a few schools… cass street school, loyola academy, and franklin pierce elementary. wherever i can get my foot in the door.
r: what would make you happy?
m: working with the latino community. ideally, what i would like to do is work with low-income latino families and orientation into our culture but nt necessarily homogenization.
r: for instance, at kagel, ramon…
m: candelaria?
r: you know him? he’s working at kagel. just recently got an award too, so that’s fantastic. get a hold of him, and you can be my person there. or forest home. or both….
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right now on 1290, they’re talking about sexual abuse, there’s a nurse on there who’s been doing it for 27 years, counseling young people who get into that. there’s a need for… i made a recommendation for funding for a lady who’s going to go into the schools and talk with young people about sexuality and how to control yourself.
m: there’s an ally who works with FORGE who might be interested in that, do you have contact information?
r: 1290, call and ask for cassandra macsheppard at 444-1290. you can ask about the name of the nurse regarding sexual abuse.
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m: what type of skills do you think are necessary to be a community leader?
r: first of all, your heart’s got to be there. after that, then you should understand accounting. there’s a reason for that. a lot of folks are poor; not because they didn’t make money. they’re poor because they didn’t know how to handle it. so, financial literacy is very important. that’s what i want all these people in these schools and all these people who work with us, to work as coaches who work with children and their parents: teach them what money’s all about and how to really make money for themselves. to take a little bit of money and make it grow.
it’s a little bit more than investing, it’s planning, budgeting, putting some away. then, when you get enough, you do the investing.
m: what about those people who don’t have that at all?
r: one woman came up from new orleans, she was an educator. she came here because her sister was teaching at the lloyd street school and she grabbed a bunch of welfare mothers and said “look, how would you all like to own your own homes?” And they said, oh yeah. “how would you like to have some money?” oh, yeah. she said, “ do you think you could save a dollar a day? you think that would be difficult for you to save? if ten of you all did that, at the end of the year, how much would you have? $3,650. so you could take that and put it on the down-payment. then one person could have that home. then you could do it again, and pretty soon, that home would build equity, and you could get another home. pretty soon, you’d have ten homes.” and that’d be ten folks on their way to building wealth. real estate is how you can build wealth for yourself. you hear that? it only took one dollar a day. make it work for you.
m: what about the people who are interested in service, more hands-on?
r: guess what? service, you’ll do that. that’s a leader, to do service. when you do the service, you want to be able to make a contribution, right? so the person that you are giving service to will soon become you, and they can give service to somebody else. once you help develop the skills, say you want to develop skills for yourself, you develop knowledge so you can pass that on. it’s no good if you just keep it to yourself. life’s better if you are able to pass it on.
m: so where would you say somebody like me would start? i don't have a lot of education but i would like it; i want to be involved in the community.
r: that's your first objective: get an education. when you say education, what do you mean?
m: get a degree.
r: a degree in what?
m: i was looking into a degree in nonprofit management or teaching. i want to be a teacher.
r: first we gotta decide what you want to be, do you want to be a teacher or do you want to manage nonprofits? what's first?
m: teacher segueing into.
r: ok, first thing is you have to go into the school of education so you can get a teaching degree. what do you want to teach? third grade? fourth grade?
m: i would like to teach adults english.
r: ok, that's adult education, that's something completely different, a different track. adult literacy is fantastic. you know, right up the street from you here is the literacy place. you can get started right there. maybe volunteer one day a week, see what it's all about.
m: i've done that part. i taught english as a second language for a year, and that's how i decided "this is what i'm going to do."
r: then you want to get a DWW, start talking to someone as soon as you are developing your schedule as to what you're going to take. reading is going to be in there, they teach reading because that's a skill. they've got a reading department in the school of education. and then you want to learn the philosophy of teachers. do you have all of your prerequisites out of the way? get that out of the way. there was a reason why i asked you to take accounting. foundations all over the world, the main thing they look at when they go into a nonprofit organization is, are they good stewards of their money? can they develop a budget? can they manage a budget? that's the bottom line of a foundation. that's why i told you about accounting. a lot of people don't hear me say that, they let it go over their heads because they think, oh accounting, it's just numbers. no, no, no. it's the way you look at something. there are a lot of crooks out here.
m: i guess people don't realize that you need the same skills you need in the business world in the nonprofit world.
r: what's the biggest thing to a schoolboard? budget. you heard them say there wasn't anyone out there when they were talking about raising %16. people thought they meant 16 pennies, but they were talking millions of dollars. so you need to understand that. that's why accounting is very important. and the biggest thing in the city government is budgets. biggest thing in the county, budget. biggest thing in the federal, budget. every year they're fighting over it. so, unless you know about it, you can't even understand what they're talking about. the next thing, of course, is after you do your research, you go out to uwm to the helen bader institute for nonprofit and talk to dr. john palmer smith. tell him that this is your goal. you want to learn about this. tell him that you want to be a teacher first, but you want to know all about non-profits, because you might have to raise money some day if you want to open your own school. and a place for you, a lady who used to be a lawyer... her parents bought her a school. she's on 12th and garfield the 2200 block of 12th. go by and take a look. say, i want to find out what you're doing out here. talk about energy, wow. she became a lawyer, but decided she didn't want to be a lawyer. she wanted to teach. she's now the principal of that school. they took over the old ymca. you remind me of her. see, you came into this world. with a purpose and reason for life, and you're now exploring because you're going to do it. i see kids coming into school who can't even tell time...
m: adults can't tell time.
r: that's true. you've got a lot of adults who had kids at ten years, eleven and twelve years old, so they were children when they had kids. so there are a lot of things we take for granted as adults, they didn't get.
m: would you say the skills you learn for nonprofit can lead you into other avenues?
r: definitely. working with the young people, what we're trying to get inside of them from the second grade through the fifth, are 5 values, these 5 values are what adults should have also. reading skills (how to read), study skills (how to study, how to go in and pull the main idea out), order, discipline ( oh, i don't want to do it... do it anyways because that's what you're supposed to do, and that's discipline), and responsibility (bringing it back to where you're supposed to). those are the five values necessary to be an adult in this world; if one of them is missing... when i say reading, what does that mean? comprehension, decoding, critically analyzing this the truths involved (where did they get the information from?) and implementation. what does it mean? people think just because they know t-h-e is 'the' that they know how to read. that's just decoding. now what does 'the' mean? it's an article. this is what we're trying to teach the kids. once they get to sixth grade, they better get serious about their education because from sixth through twelfth grade, that will shape them. and if they're not ready by the time they finish twelfth grade to go on to college, or a technical school, they're going to be behind forever.
m: i guess i want to ask this: how can we as young people, get into nonprofits and not be treated like kids?
r: that's a perspective. that might not be true. for instance, if you walk into an office where there are a lot of older people, yes they are going to look at you as if you are much younger, and what they're thinking about is that they might not be around long enough to give you all the knowledge that they have. so they try to give as much as they can while they're here and it sounds like sometimes they're just preaching, or it sounds like they think you don't know anything. that's not it; they're not taking any chances. they can make an assumption and think you know and go away an not tell you anything, or, they can say, "well maybe you know, maybe you don't know, so i'll just share this with you." things that the older person might think is imortant for you to know and they feel that they don't have enough time, because they might get sick or they might die... that' what happens with a lot of older people who work with younger people; they want to give them as much as they can all at once, and a lot of time, i have to calm myself down and say "slow down, man." there's something called conceptualization where you can't see the whole picture. i can say something to you, like i can talk about accounting, and i'm thinking about all the meetings i've been into over the years, foundation board meetings, and i notice how they look at the budget. so you don't see that, but i've had nine years of doing that, so when you ask me, "what is the most important part of nonprofits," i say a budget because, down the road, somebody's gonna ask you, "what do you mean by this? how come you have x percent here and only y percent here? how come you don't have something over here?" i've heard the arguements. so, if i tell you that, and you think i don't know anything.... i might be telling you because i think you are smart and you can pick it up. so there are two ways of looking at the comment you just made. one, is that they think you're a kid, or a baby. the other is that they think you're smart and you can handle it. it's a different perspective. they're not trying to hurt you, they're trying to help you. i'll give you an example of that.one of my favorite ministers is out of chicago. he's awesome. he said one time, his mentor (who was much older than he was) loved to come to cities that had a lake. he loved coming to chicago because he had the great lakes there, lake michigan. so what he would do was get up early in the morning and concentrate. he would be quiet so he could listen to god. he'd walk the beach. one time he saw a goose playing with a fish. the wave would bring th fish in, and the bird would grab the fish with his bill, and when the water would recede he'd drop the fish down into the sand. the fish would be flapping, trying to get back into the water. he kept doing that. all of a sudden, he got tired of playing with the fish, decided to let the fish go ahead and swim back. then, when the bird tried to fly, he couldn't; the whole time he was playing with the fish, he was sinking into the sand, but didn't see it. he couldn't fly. so the old minister reached down to help the bird, but the bird snapped at him. he thought he was going to hurt him. the minister said i wish i knew how to speak the language of this bird, so i could tell him, i'm not trying to hurt you, i'm trying to help. the minister says, i've got husbands in my church i'm telling the same thing to. i've got them coming in with their wives and the husbands only think i'm trying to get them in to make money, so they don't listen. i'm trying to tell them i want to help them and not hurt them...
m: you said something about his mentor. how does one get a mentor or enter into a mentoring relationship with someone?
r: it happens sometimes by chance. or, if it's someone that you really admire, you go to them and say "hey, i'd really like to talk with you periodically." now, anyone who's ever done anything great has had a mentor. today's paper, there's an article on the superintendant of mequon. he's only the second african american superintendant in the state of wisconsin. demon means... he asked me and howard fuller if we'd mentor him. i said sure, but he never got back to me. i think he's ben talking to howard fuller, but now he's the superintendant of schools. his goal is to become the superintendant of mps. he's only 35 years old. a riverside grad. that's where dan bader and his brother graduated from. and i had a program over there at one time, with about 30 or 60 kids.
m: were you born here?
r: yes, i was born here at county hospital. it's gone now, but i was raised here.
m: do you remember when we were at the UCC and we were walking around and you told me about african names? you kind of started to tell me about it but then we had to finish the tour...
r: yes, did you find out what day you were born?
m: thursday.
r: oh, thursday. aba. yours would be "ya". the woman that was born on thursday in ghana is a hero. she helped lead them in a war against the british and won many battles. ya ashantiya.
m: my son was born on a thursday as well.
r: he's going to be political, strong. lyndon baines johnson was born on a thursday, so was michael mcgee. he's gonna be tough. once you get your mind on something. the tribes would look to him to bring about revolution, to bring about change.
m: what day were you born on? and what does it mean?
r: tuesday. fiery. risk-taker. dr. king was born on a tuesday, malcolm x was born on a tuesday, howard fuller. all born on tuesday.
m: so, i have one more question for you. if i were to stay here in milwaukee and try to find my way into the nonprofit world, what would you say is the path of least resistance?
r: you have to answer that question.
brilliant!
this is the essence of our talk. i enjoyed the one on one interaction. it was neat, good to talk to someone who's been around the block. everything didn't quite make it onto this page, but the good stuff is certianly here to be deciphered. learning to digest, take in these kinds of things is a part of all the training i'm supposed to be learning.
i guess this means it's starting to work.
that's all for now. in the meantime, happy thanks-taking.
me: ok, i made a list of things i wanted to ask you about. the first thing i wanted to ask you is how you got into non-profits.
reuben: i was asked. i had worked at the university of wisconsin for 31 years, actually maybe a little bit longer and after i stopped, i retired and dan bader, president of the helen bader foundation came and asked me how would i like to keep on doing what i was doing, which was working with children and youth. he said, only i’ll pay you and give you a budget. it was a no-brainer.
m: so it was kind of a transitional thing?
r: yes, just because dan saw something in me that of course i didn’t see in myself and he pulled me over.
m: what does the helen bader organization do, or foundation, rather?
r: the foundation itself got started because dan and david bader’s mother had passed and she left $150 million and they decided to put into a foundation and help the community based on what she dreamed. her dreams were music; alzheimer’s, because she worked at the jewish center so she cared about the elderly and the struggles they were having; and then she cared about low-income people like us. so they fashioned or molded her foundations around her principles and ideas, the things she believed in and loved. so that’s what we have; i work with children and youth and low-income people... we have something called community initiative and the community initiative is something that we don’t have a program area for. we have something called program-related investments where we help groups that are trying to get started but they don’t have enough collateral and so we’ll help them get started. then we have something called economic development…
m: economic development for individuals or for businesses or what is that?
r: all of that. they’ve taken north avenue all the way from 60th street all the way down to 4th street; all that development you see around 35th street, that new frozen custard place you see that’s going up, and the philips station, all that. and the university. over 11 years they’ve given $12 million to the university of wisconsin. since helen received her master’s degree in social welfare, the foundation gave in her honor $5 million to the school of social welfare and it’s named after her now; the helen bader school for social welfare. then they gave a million dollars to the institute for non-profit, helen bader institute for non-profit.
m: i’m looking into those for non-profit management certification…
r:If you wanted to get into that, that is where you would go and get your master’s.
m:i have to get my bachelor’s first, i’ve been looking into it at alverno. it’s tough, you know.
r: let me give you that right now www.blackexcel.org . it’s 200 websites for you, they say black students aren’t applying.
m: aren’t applying?
r: are not applying, including the bill and melinda gates foundation which is strictly for black students. 335 million for black students.
m: i would love to apply, that’s kind of why i am in this program. it helps you obviously with the experience, experience learning, and hands-on seeing what i want to do. then, getting the education benefit at the end is really nice. some of the local universities have fellowships with americorps and other service fellowships where you can go and get your master’s degree afterwards. marquette university is one of them, the trinity fellows program.
r: that’s fantastic, i didn’t know about the trinity fellows.
m: something that i am having a problem with in this job, and these kinds of jobs, is that i always feel like i’m stuck in a rut. like i’m not doing anything, not doing enough. what could you recommend or suggest?
r: i’d love to have you work with me. in terms of volunteering, there’s something we’ve got called “homework first” where you would adopt a school, take maybe the third grade class in that school and stop by at least once a month, but if you have time once a week, and check the kids in the room. whichever room you take, check to see that the kids are doing their homework. the teacher will have a board up in the room; if they missed their homework, there will be a black spot.
so if you catch a kid not doing their homework, you pull them aside and talk to them out in the hallway. say, “hey, what’s wrong with you? why aren’t you doing your work?” and they’ll come up with all kinds of stories. then you tell them, “look, are you smart or are you dumb?” no one wants to be dumb so, they’ll say “no, no, i’m smart.” “so if you’re smart, do your homework. what do you want to become when you grow up? whatever it is that you want to become when you grow up, you’re still gonna have to do your homework.” you just urge them on to be the best that they can become, because we need them.
there are a lot of other places where you can organize too, there’s a place called “pearls for girls” and they work with about 500 young ladies over on the corner of clarke and palmer. that’s denae gordon. or on the southside there’s another great one called…. well, i forgot the name of it but it will come back to me.
m: i just feel like i can’t get enough done, or like what i’m doing is just not important enough.
r: so, what are you doing?
m: right now i work here in community disaster education, i go to schools and talk to kids about fire safety, community centers; i talk to families, elderly, talk to a lot of minorities and the latino community, spreading the message about things people take for granted as far as safety is concerned. i'm working with the 6th district of the milwaukee police department on 27th street and a few schools… cass street school, loyola academy, and franklin pierce elementary. wherever i can get my foot in the door.
r: what would make you happy?
m: working with the latino community. ideally, what i would like to do is work with low-income latino families and orientation into our culture but nt necessarily homogenization.
r: for instance, at kagel, ramon…
m: candelaria?
r: you know him? he’s working at kagel. just recently got an award too, so that’s fantastic. get a hold of him, and you can be my person there. or forest home. or both….
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
right now on 1290, they’re talking about sexual abuse, there’s a nurse on there who’s been doing it for 27 years, counseling young people who get into that. there’s a need for… i made a recommendation for funding for a lady who’s going to go into the schools and talk with young people about sexuality and how to control yourself.
m: there’s an ally who works with FORGE who might be interested in that, do you have contact information?
r: 1290, call and ask for cassandra macsheppard at 444-1290. you can ask about the name of the nurse regarding sexual abuse.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
m: what type of skills do you think are necessary to be a community leader?
r: first of all, your heart’s got to be there. after that, then you should understand accounting. there’s a reason for that. a lot of folks are poor; not because they didn’t make money. they’re poor because they didn’t know how to handle it. so, financial literacy is very important. that’s what i want all these people in these schools and all these people who work with us, to work as coaches who work with children and their parents: teach them what money’s all about and how to really make money for themselves. to take a little bit of money and make it grow.
it’s a little bit more than investing, it’s planning, budgeting, putting some away. then, when you get enough, you do the investing.
m: what about those people who don’t have that at all?
r: one woman came up from new orleans, she was an educator. she came here because her sister was teaching at the lloyd street school and she grabbed a bunch of welfare mothers and said “look, how would you all like to own your own homes?” And they said, oh yeah. “how would you like to have some money?” oh, yeah. she said, “ do you think you could save a dollar a day? you think that would be difficult for you to save? if ten of you all did that, at the end of the year, how much would you have? $3,650. so you could take that and put it on the down-payment. then one person could have that home. then you could do it again, and pretty soon, that home would build equity, and you could get another home. pretty soon, you’d have ten homes.” and that’d be ten folks on their way to building wealth. real estate is how you can build wealth for yourself. you hear that? it only took one dollar a day. make it work for you.
m: what about the people who are interested in service, more hands-on?
r: guess what? service, you’ll do that. that’s a leader, to do service. when you do the service, you want to be able to make a contribution, right? so the person that you are giving service to will soon become you, and they can give service to somebody else. once you help develop the skills, say you want to develop skills for yourself, you develop knowledge so you can pass that on. it’s no good if you just keep it to yourself. life’s better if you are able to pass it on.
m: so where would you say somebody like me would start? i don't have a lot of education but i would like it; i want to be involved in the community.
r: that's your first objective: get an education. when you say education, what do you mean?
m: get a degree.
r: a degree in what?
m: i was looking into a degree in nonprofit management or teaching. i want to be a teacher.
r: first we gotta decide what you want to be, do you want to be a teacher or do you want to manage nonprofits? what's first?
m: teacher segueing into.
r: ok, first thing is you have to go into the school of education so you can get a teaching degree. what do you want to teach? third grade? fourth grade?
m: i would like to teach adults english.
r: ok, that's adult education, that's something completely different, a different track. adult literacy is fantastic. you know, right up the street from you here is the literacy place. you can get started right there. maybe volunteer one day a week, see what it's all about.
m: i've done that part. i taught english as a second language for a year, and that's how i decided "this is what i'm going to do."
r: then you want to get a DWW, start talking to someone as soon as you are developing your schedule as to what you're going to take. reading is going to be in there, they teach reading because that's a skill. they've got a reading department in the school of education. and then you want to learn the philosophy of teachers. do you have all of your prerequisites out of the way? get that out of the way. there was a reason why i asked you to take accounting. foundations all over the world, the main thing they look at when they go into a nonprofit organization is, are they good stewards of their money? can they develop a budget? can they manage a budget? that's the bottom line of a foundation. that's why i told you about accounting. a lot of people don't hear me say that, they let it go over their heads because they think, oh accounting, it's just numbers. no, no, no. it's the way you look at something. there are a lot of crooks out here.
m: i guess people don't realize that you need the same skills you need in the business world in the nonprofit world.
r: what's the biggest thing to a schoolboard? budget. you heard them say there wasn't anyone out there when they were talking about raising %16. people thought they meant 16 pennies, but they were talking millions of dollars. so you need to understand that. that's why accounting is very important. and the biggest thing in the city government is budgets. biggest thing in the county, budget. biggest thing in the federal, budget. every year they're fighting over it. so, unless you know about it, you can't even understand what they're talking about. the next thing, of course, is after you do your research, you go out to uwm to the helen bader institute for nonprofit and talk to dr. john palmer smith. tell him that this is your goal. you want to learn about this. tell him that you want to be a teacher first, but you want to know all about non-profits, because you might have to raise money some day if you want to open your own school. and a place for you, a lady who used to be a lawyer... her parents bought her a school. she's on 12th and garfield the 2200 block of 12th. go by and take a look. say, i want to find out what you're doing out here. talk about energy, wow. she became a lawyer, but decided she didn't want to be a lawyer. she wanted to teach. she's now the principal of that school. they took over the old ymca. you remind me of her. see, you came into this world. with a purpose and reason for life, and you're now exploring because you're going to do it. i see kids coming into school who can't even tell time...
m: adults can't tell time.
r: that's true. you've got a lot of adults who had kids at ten years, eleven and twelve years old, so they were children when they had kids. so there are a lot of things we take for granted as adults, they didn't get.
m: would you say the skills you learn for nonprofit can lead you into other avenues?
r: definitely. working with the young people, what we're trying to get inside of them from the second grade through the fifth, are 5 values, these 5 values are what adults should have also. reading skills (how to read), study skills (how to study, how to go in and pull the main idea out), order, discipline ( oh, i don't want to do it... do it anyways because that's what you're supposed to do, and that's discipline), and responsibility (bringing it back to where you're supposed to). those are the five values necessary to be an adult in this world; if one of them is missing... when i say reading, what does that mean? comprehension, decoding, critically analyzing this the truths involved (where did they get the information from?) and implementation. what does it mean? people think just because they know t-h-e is 'the' that they know how to read. that's just decoding. now what does 'the' mean? it's an article. this is what we're trying to teach the kids. once they get to sixth grade, they better get serious about their education because from sixth through twelfth grade, that will shape them. and if they're not ready by the time they finish twelfth grade to go on to college, or a technical school, they're going to be behind forever.
m: i guess i want to ask this: how can we as young people, get into nonprofits and not be treated like kids?
r: that's a perspective. that might not be true. for instance, if you walk into an office where there are a lot of older people, yes they are going to look at you as if you are much younger, and what they're thinking about is that they might not be around long enough to give you all the knowledge that they have. so they try to give as much as they can while they're here and it sounds like sometimes they're just preaching, or it sounds like they think you don't know anything. that's not it; they're not taking any chances. they can make an assumption and think you know and go away an not tell you anything, or, they can say, "well maybe you know, maybe you don't know, so i'll just share this with you." things that the older person might think is imortant for you to know and they feel that they don't have enough time, because they might get sick or they might die... that' what happens with a lot of older people who work with younger people; they want to give them as much as they can all at once, and a lot of time, i have to calm myself down and say "slow down, man." there's something called conceptualization where you can't see the whole picture. i can say something to you, like i can talk about accounting, and i'm thinking about all the meetings i've been into over the years, foundation board meetings, and i notice how they look at the budget. so you don't see that, but i've had nine years of doing that, so when you ask me, "what is the most important part of nonprofits," i say a budget because, down the road, somebody's gonna ask you, "what do you mean by this? how come you have x percent here and only y percent here? how come you don't have something over here?" i've heard the arguements. so, if i tell you that, and you think i don't know anything.... i might be telling you because i think you are smart and you can pick it up. so there are two ways of looking at the comment you just made. one, is that they think you're a kid, or a baby. the other is that they think you're smart and you can handle it. it's a different perspective. they're not trying to hurt you, they're trying to help you. i'll give you an example of that.one of my favorite ministers is out of chicago. he's awesome. he said one time, his mentor (who was much older than he was) loved to come to cities that had a lake. he loved coming to chicago because he had the great lakes there, lake michigan. so what he would do was get up early in the morning and concentrate. he would be quiet so he could listen to god. he'd walk the beach. one time he saw a goose playing with a fish. the wave would bring th fish in, and the bird would grab the fish with his bill, and when the water would recede he'd drop the fish down into the sand. the fish would be flapping, trying to get back into the water. he kept doing that. all of a sudden, he got tired of playing with the fish, decided to let the fish go ahead and swim back. then, when the bird tried to fly, he couldn't; the whole time he was playing with the fish, he was sinking into the sand, but didn't see it. he couldn't fly. so the old minister reached down to help the bird, but the bird snapped at him. he thought he was going to hurt him. the minister said i wish i knew how to speak the language of this bird, so i could tell him, i'm not trying to hurt you, i'm trying to help. the minister says, i've got husbands in my church i'm telling the same thing to. i've got them coming in with their wives and the husbands only think i'm trying to get them in to make money, so they don't listen. i'm trying to tell them i want to help them and not hurt them...
m: you said something about his mentor. how does one get a mentor or enter into a mentoring relationship with someone?
r: it happens sometimes by chance. or, if it's someone that you really admire, you go to them and say "hey, i'd really like to talk with you periodically." now, anyone who's ever done anything great has had a mentor. today's paper, there's an article on the superintendant of mequon. he's only the second african american superintendant in the state of wisconsin. demon means... he asked me and howard fuller if we'd mentor him. i said sure, but he never got back to me. i think he's ben talking to howard fuller, but now he's the superintendant of schools. his goal is to become the superintendant of mps. he's only 35 years old. a riverside grad. that's where dan bader and his brother graduated from. and i had a program over there at one time, with about 30 or 60 kids.
m: were you born here?
r: yes, i was born here at county hospital. it's gone now, but i was raised here.
m: do you remember when we were at the UCC and we were walking around and you told me about african names? you kind of started to tell me about it but then we had to finish the tour...
r: yes, did you find out what day you were born?
m: thursday.
r: oh, thursday. aba. yours would be "ya". the woman that was born on thursday in ghana is a hero. she helped lead them in a war against the british and won many battles. ya ashantiya.
m: my son was born on a thursday as well.
r: he's going to be political, strong. lyndon baines johnson was born on a thursday, so was michael mcgee. he's gonna be tough. once you get your mind on something. the tribes would look to him to bring about revolution, to bring about change.
m: what day were you born on? and what does it mean?
r: tuesday. fiery. risk-taker. dr. king was born on a tuesday, malcolm x was born on a tuesday, howard fuller. all born on tuesday.
m: so, i have one more question for you. if i were to stay here in milwaukee and try to find my way into the nonprofit world, what would you say is the path of least resistance?
r: you have to answer that question.
brilliant!
this is the essence of our talk. i enjoyed the one on one interaction. it was neat, good to talk to someone who's been around the block. everything didn't quite make it onto this page, but the good stuff is certianly here to be deciphered. learning to digest, take in these kinds of things is a part of all the training i'm supposed to be learning.
i guess this means it's starting to work.
that's all for now. in the meantime, happy thanks-taking.
Thursday
11/15/07
it's strange, but i think i may have had a great day yesterday.
no, really.
i've noticed that since this whole thing with my son in court, days have been so long and everything is an excuse for something bad. but yesterday, i actually found something to smile about.
the first part of the day was spent at cass street school. i think it may very well be a black hole, but it didn't even get to me. matt, back from mexico, made me a delicious sandwich for lunch and we went for a walk in the wind. that ended with coffee and cookies from brady street. it was nice to feel appreciated.
after the end of my presentations, i came back to the red cross to messages from people who wanted presentations. AMAZING! someone finally got back to me! i can do my job successfully. events were scheduled, life moves on.
next, i decided in order to pay for legal fees, etc, i am going to be needing another job. peter, a friend of mine, decided he would refer me to this fancy place off moorland road. we went there for dinner and i filled out an application. the bar manager was really nice to me and made a note on the application. it looks good.
dinner was swell too.
something that's been strange for me is not seeing the other allies. i realized i don't really know any of them very well, but that's my fault i suppose. I've been very internal lately, focusing on the slow but inevitable unravelling of my life. i haven't seen anyone in almost two weeks, with the exception of seeing people waiting on the bus stop. what is happening with them? how are their lives?
friday training is coming up, and it might just be alright.
it's strange, but i think i may have had a great day yesterday.
no, really.
i've noticed that since this whole thing with my son in court, days have been so long and everything is an excuse for something bad. but yesterday, i actually found something to smile about.
the first part of the day was spent at cass street school. i think it may very well be a black hole, but it didn't even get to me. matt, back from mexico, made me a delicious sandwich for lunch and we went for a walk in the wind. that ended with coffee and cookies from brady street. it was nice to feel appreciated.
after the end of my presentations, i came back to the red cross to messages from people who wanted presentations. AMAZING! someone finally got back to me! i can do my job successfully. events were scheduled, life moves on.
next, i decided in order to pay for legal fees, etc, i am going to be needing another job. peter, a friend of mine, decided he would refer me to this fancy place off moorland road. we went there for dinner and i filled out an application. the bar manager was really nice to me and made a note on the application. it looks good.
dinner was swell too.
something that's been strange for me is not seeing the other allies. i realized i don't really know any of them very well, but that's my fault i suppose. I've been very internal lately, focusing on the slow but inevitable unravelling of my life. i haven't seen anyone in almost two weeks, with the exception of seeing people waiting on the bus stop. what is happening with them? how are their lives?
friday training is coming up, and it might just be alright.
Wednesday
dinosaurs vs non-profits
11/07/07
q: what is a ynpn?
a: young nonprofit professionals network
last night, i attended (briefly) a meeting on volunteer management at von trier with dave. i was indeed late, but it wasn't my fault! those delicious tacos at live as well as a frosty draught got the best of me....
i am not sorry.
in fact, i am sorry i didn't stay longer to eat more tacos, drink more beer, and watch jeff goldblum's incredible struggles against gigantic man-eating dinosaurs
(what a lovely man.)
the event was hosted by the education committee of ynpn, and reminded me very much of the first friday training session, only less focused because everyone was there with their own agenda and expectations. all in all, it wasn't the presentation that was so bad. if it weren't information we'd received already, i might have been really interested. the problem was the aftermath, or what dave came to call "the fixers."
every one's dealt with that person who asks a question they already know the answer to. in fact, the questioner is often only looking for someone to back him up in the conclusion he's already drawn. (read: he wants to be right, and wants someone else to say so.)
after said question is proposed, the fixers come in and make suggestions that usually begin with phrases like, "well, what i usually do..." or "you know what i think..." and in the end offer little to no new information that the questioner had not already discerned in their wicked little mind.
every one's looking for validation, right?
from what i gathered, everyone at that meeting was deeply affiliated with a particular non-profit. the problem with this: the topic was volunteer management. it seemed that many of them were very far-removed from the volunteering process in reality. some of the comments on strategy [like how to treat volunteers in problem situations (for instance, overly needy, aggressive, or perhaps physically incapable)] enraged me as a volunteer observing this group.
it seems as if non-profits forget that people are doing work for them that people in the real world do in fact get paid for. they may not be giving dollars, but they are giving their time to do jobs most np managers and coordinators just don't want to do. when is the last time a board got together to stuff envelopes for 3 hours outside of work? if donors are the lifeblood of non-profit sector, volunteers are the living tissue that houses the well-intentioned spirit.
(sorry about the envelope metaphor)
does anyone else consider the volunteer-organization relationship? it's one thing to say you appreciate them, but how do you make them feel? are they taken for granted, or perhaps spoken to in a condescending fashion? maybe the next session will be about coming back to the grassroots of the movement.
dinosaurs:1
non-profits: 0
q: what is a ynpn?
a: young nonprofit professionals network
last night, i attended (briefly) a meeting on volunteer management at von trier with dave. i was indeed late, but it wasn't my fault! those delicious tacos at live as well as a frosty draught got the best of me....
i am not sorry.
in fact, i am sorry i didn't stay longer to eat more tacos, drink more beer, and watch jeff goldblum's incredible struggles against gigantic man-eating dinosaurs
(what a lovely man.)
the event was hosted by the education committee of ynpn, and reminded me very much of the first friday training session, only less focused because everyone was there with their own agenda and expectations. all in all, it wasn't the presentation that was so bad. if it weren't information we'd received already, i might have been really interested. the problem was the aftermath, or what dave came to call "the fixers."
every one's dealt with that person who asks a question they already know the answer to. in fact, the questioner is often only looking for someone to back him up in the conclusion he's already drawn. (read: he wants to be right, and wants someone else to say so.)
after said question is proposed, the fixers come in and make suggestions that usually begin with phrases like, "well, what i usually do..." or "you know what i think..." and in the end offer little to no new information that the questioner had not already discerned in their wicked little mind.
every one's looking for validation, right?
from what i gathered, everyone at that meeting was deeply affiliated with a particular non-profit. the problem with this: the topic was volunteer management. it seemed that many of them were very far-removed from the volunteering process in reality. some of the comments on strategy [like how to treat volunteers in problem situations (for instance, overly needy, aggressive, or perhaps physically incapable)] enraged me as a volunteer observing this group.
it seems as if non-profits forget that people are doing work for them that people in the real world do in fact get paid for. they may not be giving dollars, but they are giving their time to do jobs most np managers and coordinators just don't want to do. when is the last time a board got together to stuff envelopes for 3 hours outside of work? if donors are the lifeblood of non-profit sector, volunteers are the living tissue that houses the well-intentioned spirit.
(sorry about the envelope metaphor)
does anyone else consider the volunteer-organization relationship? it's one thing to say you appreciate them, but how do you make them feel? are they taken for granted, or perhaps spoken to in a condescending fashion? maybe the next session will be about coming back to the grassroots of the movement.
dinosaurs:1
non-profits: 0
Monday
what's the difference?
11/05/07
last friday was madness. PA met friday at urban underground for training and debriefing on the make a difference day activities. though i had a problem with the MADD experience, i felt it was worth it. we did a lot of good work and got a taste of organizing firsthand instead of just talking about it.
there was a lot of tension in that basement. it seemed as if people felt the need to defend the fact that they had in fact done anything at all. an argument was inspired by a sheet we had to fill out saying what we did in the group, how long we worked, etc. some people over-elaborated, some didn't say very much at all. i was in the latter group; i felt it was apparent that i did my fair share too.
we broke off into our committees and went one by one around the room to discuss our roles and whether or not our particular project was successful. i was pleased with my group, because even though it didn't go as planned, we still made it work. while some of the group folded clothes they'd collected, some of the others went to friends and families (event their own closets) to make up for the unexpectedly empty boxes. there was discrepancy about whether or not the absent members just left to get out of the day, but this was inevitable.
as we went around the room, each group shared their perceptions of success as well as trial and error. when the program managers reached the office team, there was a lot of frustration.
here's where it got interesting.
mari, the contact for the office team, wasn't able to get to the guest house before one, so everyone was kind of confused about what to do in the mean time. they plugged in as best as they could in order to help the other teams. upon her arrival, mari introduced the most bizarre sort of mailing system for fundraising letters i've ever heard of. rather than matching letters to corresponding envelopes in alphabetical order,or even addressing them by hand as they came (or even attaching labels per envelope) she created a numerical system for more than 14,000 solicitation letters.
actually, it wasn't the system that was so wrong as the way she implemented it. according to the office team, she neglected to print the letters and envelopes in any sort of order; numerical, alphabetical, or otherwise. in addition to a poor system, the printing wasn't even complete.
so...
all of this led shana to ask the office team questions such as, "what did you all do during the planning stages of the committee," or "did anyone contact mari in relation to the intended system."
temperatures flared as the other allies tried to explain they thought the directions were clear: stuff envelopes and help complete massive mailing. how were they supposed to account for this system, senseless roadblock? defenses were made.
here is where it became not only confusing, but frustrating for most of us. rather than moving on, shana sort of snapped at the office team for their lack of foresight in the planning stage. she wanted to know why noone had contacted mari and asked for more exclusive details in relation to the project.
it wasn't so much what she was trying to say as how she said it. the looks on the faces of the allies was strained, ashamed to be spoken to in that manner. on one hand, her questions were so valid: we had planned for weeks, yet who would have expected for something so simple to go so wrong? there was a communication lapse as she continued to dig and the office team attempted to defend their stance.
so much more was said, but it felt as if that discrepancy painted the rest of the day long and unpleasant. it really came down to a lack of communication, but the nursing of so many bruised egos. we asked ourselves, is this part of the training? to face conflict? are we better to talk around it, or to face it head on?
the second half of the day was dedicated to our tsp teams. we met upstairs in a conference room, but the morning sentiments still hung thick. the session began with an hour long series of personal attacks and revisiting the morning, as well as new accusations. it was awkward and uncomfortable; james said we wouldn't be able to be successful if we didn't get everything out now. what would happen to the team if it came out later?
it felt good to go home after everything. i felt awful, and didn't doubt whether everyone else felt the same. we were all fed up, tired of fighting. i can understand that. we're going to have to figure out a way to coexist without taking up verbal arms, but as peaceful and competent individuals.
last friday was madness. PA met friday at urban underground for training and debriefing on the make a difference day activities. though i had a problem with the MADD experience, i felt it was worth it. we did a lot of good work and got a taste of organizing firsthand instead of just talking about it.
there was a lot of tension in that basement. it seemed as if people felt the need to defend the fact that they had in fact done anything at all. an argument was inspired by a sheet we had to fill out saying what we did in the group, how long we worked, etc. some people over-elaborated, some didn't say very much at all. i was in the latter group; i felt it was apparent that i did my fair share too.
we broke off into our committees and went one by one around the room to discuss our roles and whether or not our particular project was successful. i was pleased with my group, because even though it didn't go as planned, we still made it work. while some of the group folded clothes they'd collected, some of the others went to friends and families (event their own closets) to make up for the unexpectedly empty boxes. there was discrepancy about whether or not the absent members just left to get out of the day, but this was inevitable.
as we went around the room, each group shared their perceptions of success as well as trial and error. when the program managers reached the office team, there was a lot of frustration.
here's where it got interesting.
mari, the contact for the office team, wasn't able to get to the guest house before one, so everyone was kind of confused about what to do in the mean time. they plugged in as best as they could in order to help the other teams. upon her arrival, mari introduced the most bizarre sort of mailing system for fundraising letters i've ever heard of. rather than matching letters to corresponding envelopes in alphabetical order,or even addressing them by hand as they came (or even attaching labels per envelope) she created a numerical system for more than 14,000 solicitation letters.
actually, it wasn't the system that was so wrong as the way she implemented it. according to the office team, she neglected to print the letters and envelopes in any sort of order; numerical, alphabetical, or otherwise. in addition to a poor system, the printing wasn't even complete.
so...
all of this led shana to ask the office team questions such as, "what did you all do during the planning stages of the committee," or "did anyone contact mari in relation to the intended system."
temperatures flared as the other allies tried to explain they thought the directions were clear: stuff envelopes and help complete massive mailing. how were they supposed to account for this system, senseless roadblock? defenses were made.
here is where it became not only confusing, but frustrating for most of us. rather than moving on, shana sort of snapped at the office team for their lack of foresight in the planning stage. she wanted to know why noone had contacted mari and asked for more exclusive details in relation to the project.
it wasn't so much what she was trying to say as how she said it. the looks on the faces of the allies was strained, ashamed to be spoken to in that manner. on one hand, her questions were so valid: we had planned for weeks, yet who would have expected for something so simple to go so wrong? there was a communication lapse as she continued to dig and the office team attempted to defend their stance.
so much more was said, but it felt as if that discrepancy painted the rest of the day long and unpleasant. it really came down to a lack of communication, but the nursing of so many bruised egos. we asked ourselves, is this part of the training? to face conflict? are we better to talk around it, or to face it head on?
the second half of the day was dedicated to our tsp teams. we met upstairs in a conference room, but the morning sentiments still hung thick. the session began with an hour long series of personal attacks and revisiting the morning, as well as new accusations. it was awkward and uncomfortable; james said we wouldn't be able to be successful if we didn't get everything out now. what would happen to the team if it came out later?
it felt good to go home after everything. i felt awful, and didn't doubt whether everyone else felt the same. we were all fed up, tired of fighting. i can understand that. we're going to have to figure out a way to coexist without taking up verbal arms, but as peaceful and competent individuals.
Wednesday
against a backdrop of the ghede
10/31/07
it's halloween. traditionally, this is my favorite holiday, but over the last couple of years it's been less than spectacular.
last year, i was pregnant and upset; this year, i don't have my son to celebrate with due to some absurd family feud.
even though we've only just begun, i'm already trying to plan what i want to do after my P.A. term is over. i'm not used to working on a salary; it's kind of upsetting because it feels like no matter what, you're going to be putting in more than your fair share of hours (even if it's only out of guilt.) averaging it out, if we get paid hourly and do exactly the minimum of required hours, we're making about $8.83. keep in mind, we are working overtime some weeks, doing things on weekends, and in my case, often working evenings.
this isn't to say i'm complaining. i'm just checking the facts against the reality of being a functional adult. as a waitress with a steady schedule of approximately 35 hours a week, monday through friday, i was making exactly the same amount of money in addition to having a more flexible schedule. why does it cost to help people? how much time can we give without giving up all of our lives, and to what end are we expected to do so? i love to be a part of the community, but how do i do that while maintaining a sense of self, of family?
i guess the point i'm getting at is more personal. it's been difficult to get used to this desk job thing that takes me away from being able to control my own schedule. i volunteered before, and worked because i had to. it was enjoyable and i felt like i was supplementing my life rather than temporarily abandoning it. how do people live "normal" lives, how do they find jobs that they can work without compromising their moral integrity?
i spoke to an army recruiter yesterday for about an hour and a half. she came over to my house and we talked about options. an ominous word, isn't it? i hate that a large portion of my even allowing her in had to do with money. after this whole instance with my mother, i don't ever want anyone to question my ability to provide for my son, nor do i want them to be able to question my intentions for myself.
it's unfortunate that my experience in the P.A. program is shrouded in insecurity; it's got to be factoring into the way i'm filtering the whole thing. it's a defeatist sort of approach, so much in question that i feel as if i can't process the good things adequately.
if anything, i know i really appreciate the training sessions. my desire to be mostly left to soak up the information alone is the only part of the experience i struggle with. i don't even think my disdain for some of the allies' behavior has so much to do with the fact that i have come to distrust people and the recent past has affected me very traumatically, whether anyone acknowledges or realizes it. rape, car accident, being kicked out, a solitary pregnancy, and now this custody battle... so much to absorb with merely human skin. at least when i am listening to the knowledge someone else has to offer, i can find logic in their ration, comfort in their encouragement.
i've been reading a lot while riding public transit. it's easier to focus on being sandwiched between the covers of a good book than being sandwiched between a vapid college freshman and some guy who smells like the culmination of dirty diapers, cheap malt liquor and stale knockoff cologne. currently, it's stacy patton's that mean old yesterday. the book is great, paralleling patton's experience as an abused black foster child to american slavery.
mostly i like that the book holds black culture up to the light as far as some of the asinine practices so many of us liken to being black. the practice of harsh violence used as a means of discipline, faith in a religious institution that is not made for the downtrodden of any color but to control, and of course the perpetuation of self oppression by means of a broken system.
nobody said the book was pleasant.
and so my first halloween as a mother begins, without my little king of the cemetery. in haitian voudoo, bawon samedi is the name of one particularly well-known spirit who controls a group of dead known as the ghede. when i chose samadhi's name (which means "one with god" or "enlightenment" in sanskrit), his father disapproved. he was born in the louisiana bayou, in pre-katrina new orleans. he grew up in that strange culture that celebrates the dead in top hats and sunglasses. now, we have our little prince, king of the cemetery. one with god.
it's halloween. traditionally, this is my favorite holiday, but over the last couple of years it's been less than spectacular.
last year, i was pregnant and upset; this year, i don't have my son to celebrate with due to some absurd family feud.
even though we've only just begun, i'm already trying to plan what i want to do after my P.A. term is over. i'm not used to working on a salary; it's kind of upsetting because it feels like no matter what, you're going to be putting in more than your fair share of hours (even if it's only out of guilt.) averaging it out, if we get paid hourly and do exactly the minimum of required hours, we're making about $8.83. keep in mind, we are working overtime some weeks, doing things on weekends, and in my case, often working evenings.
this isn't to say i'm complaining. i'm just checking the facts against the reality of being a functional adult. as a waitress with a steady schedule of approximately 35 hours a week, monday through friday, i was making exactly the same amount of money in addition to having a more flexible schedule. why does it cost to help people? how much time can we give without giving up all of our lives, and to what end are we expected to do so? i love to be a part of the community, but how do i do that while maintaining a sense of self, of family?
i guess the point i'm getting at is more personal. it's been difficult to get used to this desk job thing that takes me away from being able to control my own schedule. i volunteered before, and worked because i had to. it was enjoyable and i felt like i was supplementing my life rather than temporarily abandoning it. how do people live "normal" lives, how do they find jobs that they can work without compromising their moral integrity?
i spoke to an army recruiter yesterday for about an hour and a half. she came over to my house and we talked about options. an ominous word, isn't it? i hate that a large portion of my even allowing her in had to do with money. after this whole instance with my mother, i don't ever want anyone to question my ability to provide for my son, nor do i want them to be able to question my intentions for myself.
it's unfortunate that my experience in the P.A. program is shrouded in insecurity; it's got to be factoring into the way i'm filtering the whole thing. it's a defeatist sort of approach, so much in question that i feel as if i can't process the good things adequately.
if anything, i know i really appreciate the training sessions. my desire to be mostly left to soak up the information alone is the only part of the experience i struggle with. i don't even think my disdain for some of the allies' behavior has so much to do with the fact that i have come to distrust people and the recent past has affected me very traumatically, whether anyone acknowledges or realizes it. rape, car accident, being kicked out, a solitary pregnancy, and now this custody battle... so much to absorb with merely human skin. at least when i am listening to the knowledge someone else has to offer, i can find logic in their ration, comfort in their encouragement.
i've been reading a lot while riding public transit. it's easier to focus on being sandwiched between the covers of a good book than being sandwiched between a vapid college freshman and some guy who smells like the culmination of dirty diapers, cheap malt liquor and stale knockoff cologne. currently, it's stacy patton's that mean old yesterday. the book is great, paralleling patton's experience as an abused black foster child to american slavery.
mostly i like that the book holds black culture up to the light as far as some of the asinine practices so many of us liken to being black. the practice of harsh violence used as a means of discipline, faith in a religious institution that is not made for the downtrodden of any color but to control, and of course the perpetuation of self oppression by means of a broken system.
nobody said the book was pleasant.
and so my first halloween as a mother begins, without my little king of the cemetery. in haitian voudoo, bawon samedi is the name of one particularly well-known spirit who controls a group of dead known as the ghede. when i chose samadhi's name (which means "one with god" or "enlightenment" in sanskrit), his father disapproved. he was born in the louisiana bayou, in pre-katrina new orleans. he grew up in that strange culture that celebrates the dead in top hats and sunglasses. now, we have our little prince, king of the cemetery. one with god.
Monday
make a difference
10/28/07
i never want to see another pot of chili again. or at least for a long time.
over the past couple of days i made about 6 gallons of chili. my house reeks of chili, there are stray beans migrating all across my kitchen floor. cumin has found its way into the most intimate recesses of my mind. oh chili, why?
it did taste good.
make a difference day was yesterday. it was, to say the least, chaotic. it was still successful, in spite of our frustration on the lack of organizational direction. i will say the green dream team kicked that garden's weedy butt. it looked dramatically different when i left, almost no weeds to be seen. they worked long and hard with little distraction, and i'd like to commend their efforts.
public allies took the guest house of milwaukee by storm. inside, some of us wrestled with equally unglamourous activities such as organizing food, clothes, stray pieces of furniture, and of course envelope stuffing. nothing says non-profit like donation solicitation.
a think a lot of the allies were upset about the lack of presence from our program managers. shana and kate did come, and james was out of town. things were falling apart at the seams after we all heard dave wasn't coming. people were more than pissed that rafael didn't stick around for our hard work.
even the fellows kicked in. tish and i tackled the toiletries pantry; wiping, labelling and organizing gargantuan bottles of liquid soap, scores of family-sized tropical-flavored shampoos, and toothbrushes as far as the eye could see. april and adebesi cleared out a room overburdened with dry good and moldy sandwiches. david wielded gardening tools for the better part of the day.
we all ate lunch together, though not much. i think people had a hard time eating while the guys were around. They were provided food even before we got settled, and we told them if they wanted to help out the volunteers, they were more than welcome to help themselves to what we had brought. almost all of them declined, and eventually finished off the majority of the chili. as long as it didn't have to come home with me.
the best part of the day for me was showing jenni, a former PA employed at the guest house, the progress we made. she was so excited that it made all the crappy stuff kind of unimportant. it's those little moments of victory that really remind you how good it feels to actually be doing something, not just sitting in some meeting all day.
all in all, the day was a success. i hope.
i never want to see another pot of chili again. or at least for a long time.
over the past couple of days i made about 6 gallons of chili. my house reeks of chili, there are stray beans migrating all across my kitchen floor. cumin has found its way into the most intimate recesses of my mind. oh chili, why?
it did taste good.
make a difference day was yesterday. it was, to say the least, chaotic. it was still successful, in spite of our frustration on the lack of organizational direction. i will say the green dream team kicked that garden's weedy butt. it looked dramatically different when i left, almost no weeds to be seen. they worked long and hard with little distraction, and i'd like to commend their efforts.
public allies took the guest house of milwaukee by storm. inside, some of us wrestled with equally unglamourous activities such as organizing food, clothes, stray pieces of furniture, and of course envelope stuffing. nothing says non-profit like donation solicitation.
a think a lot of the allies were upset about the lack of presence from our program managers. shana and kate did come, and james was out of town. things were falling apart at the seams after we all heard dave wasn't coming. people were more than pissed that rafael didn't stick around for our hard work.
even the fellows kicked in. tish and i tackled the toiletries pantry; wiping, labelling and organizing gargantuan bottles of liquid soap, scores of family-sized tropical-flavored shampoos, and toothbrushes as far as the eye could see. april and adebesi cleared out a room overburdened with dry good and moldy sandwiches. david wielded gardening tools for the better part of the day.
we all ate lunch together, though not much. i think people had a hard time eating while the guys were around. They were provided food even before we got settled, and we told them if they wanted to help out the volunteers, they were more than welcome to help themselves to what we had brought. almost all of them declined, and eventually finished off the majority of the chili. as long as it didn't have to come home with me.
the best part of the day for me was showing jenni, a former PA employed at the guest house, the progress we made. she was so excited that it made all the crappy stuff kind of unimportant. it's those little moments of victory that really remind you how good it feels to actually be doing something, not just sitting in some meeting all day.
all in all, the day was a success. i hope.
chinacostaricavietnamthailand
10/24/07
had my IDP with james and veronica. still up to my ears in busywork, but not dollar bills. decided to do a goal which revolves around my desire to get TEFL certified, james wants to check in on it in about six months. i can get college credit, but i have to do the classes online, which should take about 2 months. i guess if i don't go out of the country, i can use part of my money from the education grant to pay for it, because it's based out of the roosevelt university in chicago. the only thing is you have to log on every day and do the work online. that could get tricky, i'm awful at the internet.
i was looking at the different places that would let me teach without a b.a. and it looks like china's the best bet. with it's close proximity to india, inclusive housing and the fine art of mandarin, i think i could have a good time with samadhi. apparently, you can also do private tuoring and double your income. sounds like a good way to get things rolling instead of just hoping i can ge myself together, especially considering the declining value of the good old american greenback.
we're all getting ready for make a difference day. our committees have been working on this for a while now, and i'm glad it's almost over. i've got 2 huge boxes of toiletries under my desk, but it smells like a soap box in my office. i kind of loathe it. i'm also making a huge lot of chili for the weekend, because we couldn't get anyone to donate food. dave got annona bistro to donate some brekkie, and i got some stuff from beans and barley, but that's all she wrote.
james and i took the toiletries over to the PA office in the grand, and i ended up on the spot. there was an introductory meeting there and we were all spotlighted amidst chili and donation solicitation. it was nice, april and rob were there too. chili was had by all.
nothing too much exciting. lots of work to be done. i had a presentation at la causa community center, it was really great. the group was so small, and they looked relieved that i could talk with them a bit in spanish and answer their questions. i even got a couple of people interested in volunteering. that would take care of that part of my requirements.
i realized this will be better for me once i complete the requirements of the program. that way, i can focus on having a good time instead of just numbers. numbers give me anxiety attacks.
had my IDP with james and veronica. still up to my ears in busywork, but not dollar bills. decided to do a goal which revolves around my desire to get TEFL certified, james wants to check in on it in about six months. i can get college credit, but i have to do the classes online, which should take about 2 months. i guess if i don't go out of the country, i can use part of my money from the education grant to pay for it, because it's based out of the roosevelt university in chicago. the only thing is you have to log on every day and do the work online. that could get tricky, i'm awful at the internet.
i was looking at the different places that would let me teach without a b.a. and it looks like china's the best bet. with it's close proximity to india, inclusive housing and the fine art of mandarin, i think i could have a good time with samadhi. apparently, you can also do private tuoring and double your income. sounds like a good way to get things rolling instead of just hoping i can ge myself together, especially considering the declining value of the good old american greenback.
we're all getting ready for make a difference day. our committees have been working on this for a while now, and i'm glad it's almost over. i've got 2 huge boxes of toiletries under my desk, but it smells like a soap box in my office. i kind of loathe it. i'm also making a huge lot of chili for the weekend, because we couldn't get anyone to donate food. dave got annona bistro to donate some brekkie, and i got some stuff from beans and barley, but that's all she wrote.
james and i took the toiletries over to the PA office in the grand, and i ended up on the spot. there was an introductory meeting there and we were all spotlighted amidst chili and donation solicitation. it was nice, april and rob were there too. chili was had by all.
nothing too much exciting. lots of work to be done. i had a presentation at la causa community center, it was really great. the group was so small, and they looked relieved that i could talk with them a bit in spanish and answer their questions. i even got a couple of people interested in volunteering. that would take care of that part of my requirements.
i realized this will be better for me once i complete the requirements of the program. that way, i can focus on having a good time instead of just numbers. numbers give me anxiety attacks.
Tuesday
opening ceremony
10/19/07
it's opening ceremony today. i got up at 5:30 to get to oshkosh at 9? we, of course, were late. it's beyond me that the standard expectations of the programs aren't extended to all members. i'm going to leave that as vague as it is, but i'd appreciate it if everyone respected the constitution.
we didn't leave esperanza unida until 7:30. i recall there being a specific mention that we were leaving at 6:45. we arrived at 9:00, the event began at 8:00 with a breakfast and interaction. we missed the opportunity to introduce ourselves. once again, we are dishevelled public allies. we are rude, loud and late. we spilled into the auditorium bleachers. a poor speaker delivered a read speech on behalf of senator kohl. utterly disengaging.
we said the americorps pledge as a group and each participatory organization was introduced. what can i say? public allies represents.
bob pedersen of goodwill spoke to us. easily he was the most charismatic fellow they'd got. he covered just about every situation and colored each one with stories of hope and inspiration.
on the bus on the way here, jessica, mike and i were having a conversation about this crackhead called "knowledge." mike said he had gotten his hair cut by someone named knowledge; i asked if he meant the crackhead. that led us into a discussion on what knowledge, knowledge had. mike said, "underneath all that crack is a person." it was a really interesting discussion, a change of perspective for those of us who have parents in the same situation as knowledge. are we seeing the person, or are we seeing the problem?
being here at this conference is making me wonder if we aren't the cocky ones of the whole organization. we are the program that is groomed for leadership, yet we can't accomplish the simple tasks of timeliness and responsibility?
the other workers seem very humble, a quietness about them sets us apart. it's not to say we won't do good things, but i wish we could start doing this good and spending less time with this distracting waste.
over all, i'd say this wasn't very efficient, that we'd have been fine at a local non-profit office workshopping. there was a lot of being talked at, as opposed to being talked to. most of our time was spent at lunch... which we should have together more often, during our meetings perhaps.
however, i will say, as rambunctious and rowdy as our class is, we certainly can have a good time. everyone is their own distinct person, each a facet in the gem of this experience. so, perhaps today wasn't wasted. perhaps we could have done something else, but perhaps we did.
as for the americorps members, we didn't really get to meet anyone. we missed the first wave of networking potential, and we stood out. we also left early. was this what that the experience was meant to be? of course not. i want to get more out of these experiences than a free meal.
it's opening ceremony today. i got up at 5:30 to get to oshkosh at 9? we, of course, were late. it's beyond me that the standard expectations of the programs aren't extended to all members. i'm going to leave that as vague as it is, but i'd appreciate it if everyone respected the constitution.
we didn't leave esperanza unida until 7:30. i recall there being a specific mention that we were leaving at 6:45. we arrived at 9:00, the event began at 8:00 with a breakfast and interaction. we missed the opportunity to introduce ourselves. once again, we are dishevelled public allies. we are rude, loud and late. we spilled into the auditorium bleachers. a poor speaker delivered a read speech on behalf of senator kohl. utterly disengaging.
we said the americorps pledge as a group and each participatory organization was introduced. what can i say? public allies represents.
bob pedersen of goodwill spoke to us. easily he was the most charismatic fellow they'd got. he covered just about every situation and colored each one with stories of hope and inspiration.
on the bus on the way here, jessica, mike and i were having a conversation about this crackhead called "knowledge." mike said he had gotten his hair cut by someone named knowledge; i asked if he meant the crackhead. that led us into a discussion on what knowledge, knowledge had. mike said, "underneath all that crack is a person." it was a really interesting discussion, a change of perspective for those of us who have parents in the same situation as knowledge. are we seeing the person, or are we seeing the problem?
being here at this conference is making me wonder if we aren't the cocky ones of the whole organization. we are the program that is groomed for leadership, yet we can't accomplish the simple tasks of timeliness and responsibility?
the other workers seem very humble, a quietness about them sets us apart. it's not to say we won't do good things, but i wish we could start doing this good and spending less time with this distracting waste.
over all, i'd say this wasn't very efficient, that we'd have been fine at a local non-profit office workshopping. there was a lot of being talked at, as opposed to being talked to. most of our time was spent at lunch... which we should have together more often, during our meetings perhaps.
however, i will say, as rambunctious and rowdy as our class is, we certainly can have a good time. everyone is their own distinct person, each a facet in the gem of this experience. so, perhaps today wasn't wasted. perhaps we could have done something else, but perhaps we did.
as for the americorps members, we didn't really get to meet anyone. we missed the first wave of networking potential, and we stood out. we also left early. was this what that the experience was meant to be? of course not. i want to get more out of these experiences than a free meal.
fire!
10/18/07
the last couple of days have been intense. my first bout of disaster ed presentations (DEPs) was at the pierce street school. i went from class to class with my fire saftey info and smoke detector. i pushed the button; stopped, dropped and rolled, and all that other firey goodness. it was a good time, but i was definitely tired.
in fact, some of the teachers had given their students so much misinformation and spent much of their time talking through my presentation. it was irritating; i wanted to tell them they were wrong and endangering their students. i did a little, but they just got more upset and rearranged the words they were saying without actually changing anything at all.
the last couple of days have been intense. my first bout of disaster ed presentations (DEPs) was at the pierce street school. i went from class to class with my fire saftey info and smoke detector. i pushed the button; stopped, dropped and rolled, and all that other firey goodness. it was a good time, but i was definitely tired.
in fact, some of the teachers had given their students so much misinformation and spent much of their time talking through my presentation. it was irritating; i wanted to tell them they were wrong and endangering their students. i did a little, but they just got more upset and rearranged the words they were saying without actually changing anything at all.
the that's-not-really-our-job ally
10/10/07
on my way to work this morning, an ambulance whirred past and ducked out of sight down 26th street. i was at the bus stop on 27th and wisconsin. shortly after disappearing around the corner, the lights were gone. no more sirens
as i entered the building, i saw a man with wounds too puffed to be fresh ( swollen eye, cuts puckering out from their origins) and bloodstains dried on a dirty tee. it was all very surreal, awkward way to begin.
much of my time at ARC is spent on independent projects and contacts; occasionally a suggestion is sent my way. so far she's asked me to do a couple of safety tip sheets for HOPE network newspaper (a resource for metro milwaukee's single moms) and to assemble information on particular TWP material both in english and spanish.
i'm learning a lot of things through this placement, including what people take for granted as far as safety and resources are concerned. the gross misinformation is startling. hence disaster education outreach, and my position.
i've always been thinking about the cultural aspect of nonprofits in relation to their functional mission and target demographic. each organization streamlines their particular energies to serve particular needs. as in for-profits, departments and committees develop to meet each need.
here is where i am encountering confusion. since my partner organization is so well-established, it often seems that each department has fallen prey to over-specialization, leading to compartmentalized discontinuity. this lack of common goal leads to lack of communication which, in my opinion, leads to strange alienation.
for instance, when i tabled an event at wisconsin lutheran college, i met a student named april who was interested in giving blood, perhaps even organizing a blood drive. she informed me that she was o+, and that she'd like to give blood twice a month.
this excited me, as o blood types can help the most people, so i took her contact information to pass along. i mentioned her as well as her professed desire to spearhead a blood drive. my excitement was met with little enthusiasm, as well as a discouraging rebuttal:
"that's not really our job."
ouch. cynical familiarity: 1; youthful optimism: 0.
on my way to work this morning, an ambulance whirred past and ducked out of sight down 26th street. i was at the bus stop on 27th and wisconsin. shortly after disappearing around the corner, the lights were gone. no more sirens
as i entered the building, i saw a man with wounds too puffed to be fresh ( swollen eye, cuts puckering out from their origins) and bloodstains dried on a dirty tee. it was all very surreal, awkward way to begin.
much of my time at ARC is spent on independent projects and contacts; occasionally a suggestion is sent my way. so far she's asked me to do a couple of safety tip sheets for HOPE network newspaper (a resource for metro milwaukee's single moms) and to assemble information on particular TWP material both in english and spanish.
i'm learning a lot of things through this placement, including what people take for granted as far as safety and resources are concerned. the gross misinformation is startling. hence disaster education outreach, and my position.
i've always been thinking about the cultural aspect of nonprofits in relation to their functional mission and target demographic. each organization streamlines their particular energies to serve particular needs. as in for-profits, departments and committees develop to meet each need.
here is where i am encountering confusion. since my partner organization is so well-established, it often seems that each department has fallen prey to over-specialization, leading to compartmentalized discontinuity. this lack of common goal leads to lack of communication which, in my opinion, leads to strange alienation.
for instance, when i tabled an event at wisconsin lutheran college, i met a student named april who was interested in giving blood, perhaps even organizing a blood drive. she informed me that she was o+, and that she'd like to give blood twice a month.
this excited me, as o blood types can help the most people, so i took her contact information to pass along. i mentioned her as well as her professed desire to spearhead a blood drive. my excitement was met with little enthusiasm, as well as a discouraging rebuttal:
"that's not really our job."
ouch. cynical familiarity: 1; youthful optimism: 0.
i scream for peach pie
10/02/07
i've been too busy to write! my car broke down, so i've been grounded as far as work and scrambling as far as school is concerned. it's been a tough go, but i'm trying and i can't give up just yet.
last week's training was, for the most part, a more effective happening. the group apologized to each other for disrespect and we even managed to make a few adjustments to the cultural constitution. everyone seemed wary of causing out lashes; people waited to speak, and for the most part, things went smoothly.
we had a fellow named dave come in and talk to us about leadership. intuitive leadership and emotional intelligence (EIQ). the whole theory was directly applicable; he spoke about empathy and social ability as well as doing an exercise in listening. we all paired up and said colors as quickly as possible to 1 partner while the other repeated them. after switching roles and repeating the exercise, we did the same thing with a story. the room got really loud and it was hard, but everyone seemed to enjoy the experience. i'd like to use that exercise in school for the communication project.
after lunch, we talked a bit more about the constitution but then moved on into panel topics. as a group, we reviewed the topics we hope to cover over the course of our friday trainings. we also added topics that interested us. one of the most popular was "hip-hop as a means of social change." kate led the discussion.
closing circle consisted of everyone saying their favorite ice cream or dessert. there were many elaborate descriptions that made even ben and jerry blush, as well as the simple admonitions of vanilla.
i picked peach pie.
i've been too busy to write! my car broke down, so i've been grounded as far as work and scrambling as far as school is concerned. it's been a tough go, but i'm trying and i can't give up just yet.
last week's training was, for the most part, a more effective happening. the group apologized to each other for disrespect and we even managed to make a few adjustments to the cultural constitution. everyone seemed wary of causing out lashes; people waited to speak, and for the most part, things went smoothly.
we had a fellow named dave come in and talk to us about leadership. intuitive leadership and emotional intelligence (EIQ). the whole theory was directly applicable; he spoke about empathy and social ability as well as doing an exercise in listening. we all paired up and said colors as quickly as possible to 1 partner while the other repeated them. after switching roles and repeating the exercise, we did the same thing with a story. the room got really loud and it was hard, but everyone seemed to enjoy the experience. i'd like to use that exercise in school for the communication project.
after lunch, we talked a bit more about the constitution but then moved on into panel topics. as a group, we reviewed the topics we hope to cover over the course of our friday trainings. we also added topics that interested us. one of the most popular was "hip-hop as a means of social change." kate led the discussion.
closing circle consisted of everyone saying their favorite ice cream or dessert. there were many elaborate descriptions that made even ben and jerry blush, as well as the simple admonitions of vanilla.
i picked peach pie.
understatements
9/22/07
i have school this weekend, and am constantly paralleing p.a. to alverno in a structural sense. both are hard (and often times frustrating). though i struggle with it, i am trying to extract meaning/value from the experience.
i am thinking about my experience yesterday. i could not wait to go home, and ended up getting sick from stress. looking back, some people are incredibly supportive, in spite of how the group responds to my personality.
not to say much about any of the others, but i am grateful for those suportive allies out there. alicia is incredible. though we may not always agree, she's great at expressing herself, making everything clear so there is seldom misunderstanding. dave has not only been encouraging, but also inspiring to me. he pushes me to go on even though he knows how stressful it can all be. arthur and isaac are kind of a team, always checking in on me. i appreciate it.
hopefully, all of this will resolve itself.
i have school this weekend, and am constantly paralleing p.a. to alverno in a structural sense. both are hard (and often times frustrating). though i struggle with it, i am trying to extract meaning/value from the experience.
i am thinking about my experience yesterday. i could not wait to go home, and ended up getting sick from stress. looking back, some people are incredibly supportive, in spite of how the group responds to my personality.
not to say much about any of the others, but i am grateful for those suportive allies out there. alicia is incredible. though we may not always agree, she's great at expressing herself, making everything clear so there is seldom misunderstanding. dave has not only been encouraging, but also inspiring to me. he pushes me to go on even though he knows how stressful it can all be. arthur and isaac are kind of a team, always checking in on me. i appreciate it.
hopefully, all of this will resolve itself.
Thursday
what am i doing here?
8/21/07
ally check-in. everyone seems to be happy with their placement; those without one seem a bit down-trodden. it's good to see everyone, the morning is lovely. i feel like i did an awful job with check ins; everyone else has these optimistic and informative statements about their post.
we all have so much do to! it seems like people are already trasforming into working types, though some are more professional/attentive than others. work, work, work. these fridays are intended to be the weekly highlight.
hearing everyone, i know we can all offer one another a ton of help if need be. that's reassuring, because as the experience unfolds, i realize i have absolutely no idea of what i'm doing. ever in life.
we as a society take everything for granted. all this talk about what we have in the city makes me see that milwaukee might not be so bad.
bonnie andrews of the volunteer center is giving us info on volunteering and time managment*. she averages (national v.s. city) why people volunteer, how to relate as professionals to your volunteers, and putting recruitment plans into action with a plug-in excercize.
it's hard to get things done in large groups. everyone is talking along the sides; i can only imagine how the speaker must feel. i also see james getting upset. i understand his frustration, as he has to deal with all of our information (beaurocratic and otherwise) and then attempt to facilitate here. noone is being attentive.
i thought i would look forward to these sessions. by the end of the first half, i can already see this is going to be difficult for me. it tries my patience when people don't understand that we are all adults in a situation which requires self-control and respect. why can't everyone behave as such?
there has been a huge lack of respect for speakers and each other in general. i'm not sure where i can fit into all of this. what are others thinging in relation to the program?
i understand people want to have fun with their new friends and all, but there is a time and place for all that. friday training sessions are not that place. i want to absorb this information; it is relevant to our positions as well as applicable to our lives. it's as if i'm one of few foolishly taking things seriously.
i'll need to figure something out, right now i feel like the official group bitch. this is pushing me, i understand i'm not perfect. maybe i'm taking it to personally? i am seriously questioning whether this is the place for me.
attempting to establish a constitution of sorts. it isn't going well. just venting. granted, this establishes som solid ground, but we're only covering means of basic communication. see: RESPECT.
i am noticing people who are usually reserved speaking out, only to be met with attacks and being spoken over.i'm not angry anymore. sheila pulled me aside and offered some words of wisdom, got into my head. she, and people like her, are uplifting. they are the ones who feel like allies in the true sense.
*with a quote from a reputable KKK member, as later pointed out by kate.
ally check-in. everyone seems to be happy with their placement; those without one seem a bit down-trodden. it's good to see everyone, the morning is lovely. i feel like i did an awful job with check ins; everyone else has these optimistic and informative statements about their post.
we all have so much do to! it seems like people are already trasforming into working types, though some are more professional/attentive than others. work, work, work. these fridays are intended to be the weekly highlight.
hearing everyone, i know we can all offer one another a ton of help if need be. that's reassuring, because as the experience unfolds, i realize i have absolutely no idea of what i'm doing. ever in life.
we as a society take everything for granted. all this talk about what we have in the city makes me see that milwaukee might not be so bad.
bonnie andrews of the volunteer center is giving us info on volunteering and time managment*. she averages (national v.s. city) why people volunteer, how to relate as professionals to your volunteers, and putting recruitment plans into action with a plug-in excercize.
it's hard to get things done in large groups. everyone is talking along the sides; i can only imagine how the speaker must feel. i also see james getting upset. i understand his frustration, as he has to deal with all of our information (beaurocratic and otherwise) and then attempt to facilitate here. noone is being attentive.
i thought i would look forward to these sessions. by the end of the first half, i can already see this is going to be difficult for me. it tries my patience when people don't understand that we are all adults in a situation which requires self-control and respect. why can't everyone behave as such?
there has been a huge lack of respect for speakers and each other in general. i'm not sure where i can fit into all of this. what are others thinging in relation to the program?
i understand people want to have fun with their new friends and all, but there is a time and place for all that. friday training sessions are not that place. i want to absorb this information; it is relevant to our positions as well as applicable to our lives. it's as if i'm one of few foolishly taking things seriously.
i'll need to figure something out, right now i feel like the official group bitch. this is pushing me, i understand i'm not perfect. maybe i'm taking it to personally? i am seriously questioning whether this is the place for me.
attempting to establish a constitution of sorts. it isn't going well. just venting. granted, this establishes som solid ground, but we're only covering means of basic communication. see: RESPECT.
i am noticing people who are usually reserved speaking out, only to be met with attacks and being spoken over.i'm not angry anymore. sheila pulled me aside and offered some words of wisdom, got into my head. she, and people like her, are uplifting. they are the ones who feel like allies in the true sense.
*with a quote from a reputable KKK member, as later pointed out by kate.
table for 2
9/20/07
today was the first opportunity i had to spend any sort of time with veronica. she's been great so far, the atmosphere is totally relazxed and all she expects is my honesty and hard work. things should go just swell.
i will say this is going to be on of those jobs where they throw you in head first. you learn how to swim quickly, or drown. yesterday, i tabled my first event at concordia university.
of course i was late. however, it wasn't my fault this time! before leaving i asked if the route indicated by mapquest was open, as it is construction season in milwaukee. she said there shouldn't be any problem. i left at ten am as planned, allowing for half an hour's drive time and half an hour to set up the display and materials. as my fine luck would have it, there was construction on every road i needed to drive on.
i arrived at the campus (which was also under construction) at exactly 11:00. there were maybe three students (one of whom was dragged in by his nursing student girlfriend). i did make a connection with a fellow named jon from the greater milwaukee chapter of big brothers big sisters. he kept me entertained as we shared a table. neither of us were important enough to have one set up for us.
that was that, but the week has been great.
today was the first opportunity i had to spend any sort of time with veronica. she's been great so far, the atmosphere is totally relazxed and all she expects is my honesty and hard work. things should go just swell.
i will say this is going to be on of those jobs where they throw you in head first. you learn how to swim quickly, or drown. yesterday, i tabled my first event at concordia university.
of course i was late. however, it wasn't my fault this time! before leaving i asked if the route indicated by mapquest was open, as it is construction season in milwaukee. she said there shouldn't be any problem. i left at ten am as planned, allowing for half an hour's drive time and half an hour to set up the display and materials. as my fine luck would have it, there was construction on every road i needed to drive on.
i arrived at the campus (which was also under construction) at exactly 11:00. there were maybe three students (one of whom was dragged in by his nursing student girlfriend). i did make a connection with a fellow named jon from the greater milwaukee chapter of big brothers big sisters. he kept me entertained as we shared a table. neither of us were important enough to have one set up for us.
that was that, but the week has been great.
Monday
9/18/07
so much has passed! school, training, the pinning ceremony, my first day on the job. it's all amazing really, and now i have a moment to catch my breath.
thursday, we had a community tour with reuben harpole in a trolley. we visited a bunch of historical and socially engaging places. we stopped at the site of the steel mill massacre in bayview, the memorial of joshua glover. we started the tour at the U.C.C. (united community center) where elena
is placed. we had an extensive tour, it was really great. the resources are impeccable, as well as the structure of the U.C.C.
friday was the most intensive (excluding the ropes course) training experience i've had to date. in the morning, we met at the uwm school of continuing education (where the milwaukee p.a. is moving, i believe, and are working to get college credits for us *fingers crossed*) and had a number of speakers and a PISD training. veronica came, the allies and partners were paired up.
of course, i had to lose my parking validation. it was wonderful and certainly helped my ever-present tardiness issue. the lot attendant told me i couldn't leave unless i a.) ponied up the $15 or b.) figured something out quick.
naturally, being incredibly poor, i chose option b and set my mind to work. i used to work at the mall and got a receipt from one of my old co-workers. that way, i only had to pay $3 to park, but lost the entirety of my lunch hour (the other part having been taken up by a speaker who was intent on staying the course in spite of having used up her time.)
i made it by the proverbial skin of my teeth to the next and final core in the city location. we met at the black historical society on 27th street. there was a great panel of non-profit workers, teachers, council members. we finished it all out with the pinning ceremony.
i was next to james, and the first person pinned. i have to say that it was a really great experience. it felt like we were all doing this symbolic thing together, committing to do our best.
so much has passed! school, training, the pinning ceremony, my first day on the job. it's all amazing really, and now i have a moment to catch my breath.
thursday, we had a community tour with reuben harpole in a trolley. we visited a bunch of historical and socially engaging places. we stopped at the site of the steel mill massacre in bayview, the memorial of joshua glover. we started the tour at the U.C.C. (united community center) where elena
is placed. we had an extensive tour, it was really great. the resources are impeccable, as well as the structure of the U.C.C.
friday was the most intensive (excluding the ropes course) training experience i've had to date. in the morning, we met at the uwm school of continuing education (where the milwaukee p.a. is moving, i believe, and are working to get college credits for us *fingers crossed*) and had a number of speakers and a PISD training. veronica came, the allies and partners were paired up.
of course, i had to lose my parking validation. it was wonderful and certainly helped my ever-present tardiness issue. the lot attendant told me i couldn't leave unless i a.) ponied up the $15 or b.) figured something out quick.
naturally, being incredibly poor, i chose option b and set my mind to work. i used to work at the mall and got a receipt from one of my old co-workers. that way, i only had to pay $3 to park, but lost the entirety of my lunch hour (the other part having been taken up by a speaker who was intent on staying the course in spite of having used up her time.)
i made it by the proverbial skin of my teeth to the next and final core in the city location. we met at the black historical society on 27th street. there was a great panel of non-profit workers, teachers, council members. we finished it all out with the pinning ceremony.
i was next to james, and the first person pinned. i have to say that it was a really great experience. it felt like we were all doing this symbolic thing together, committing to do our best.
it's never too early to dream
9/13/07
today's morning session is with todd wellman,
director of training and learning from the national office. we're covering Asset Based Community Development (A.B.C.D.) and have been given a ton of really good tools that i would like to use in my training (personally) this year. i'm really going to focus on bettering myself this year; to take the time to reflect and grow as an individual, to be the best mother i can be for samadhi.
i'm so glad to be a P.A. it's giving me the opportunity to expose my fammily and friends to a variety of resources, in addition to making myself an asset. at first, i wasn't sure these training sessions were going to be helpful; i'm thrilled to be getting so much information. i know i work best when i'm over-loaded with information. this forces me to learn the information as well as organize it so it's accessible when i need it. quite literally, i am a community organizer; i was the logical notekeeper at brewing grounds: i wrote the menus and recipes, proposals, budgets and everything. that is also the role i'm taking in the group now, documenting through journals and photography.
i'm thinking of compiling a cd of all the photos and some original music/artwork from the allies and making it a sort of yearbook for all of us as well as a section of my portfolio. i'd be likely to actually do this with ife.
though we started at the united community center with a tour and training, we went on a trolley ride
with reuben harpole
all over the city of milwaukee. he's a historian and community activist. he filled us in on a lot, and also told me what my african name might be (i was born on a thursday, so my name would be aba) and gave me his card.i'd like to interview him, he's a community asset (vocabulary: someone/something that is a prexisting positive resource within the community).
after each day, reflecting on these training sessions is making me better, more complete. i am going to strat setting goals for myself as well as mapping all these incredible resources. maybe i'll put it on my wall.
all of this is making me re-consider my major at school to non-profit management.
yesterday, i found out most of the P.A. philosophy is based on the alverno curriculum. i also believe alverno offers credits to students who experience extra-curricular activities that are applicable to the learning structure of the school. i am starting to see how this whole thing works and think it can help get me to a place i'd like to be.
today's morning session is with todd wellman,
director of training and learning from the national office. we're covering Asset Based Community Development (A.B.C.D.) and have been given a ton of really good tools that i would like to use in my training (personally) this year. i'm really going to focus on bettering myself this year; to take the time to reflect and grow as an individual, to be the best mother i can be for samadhi.
i'm so glad to be a P.A. it's giving me the opportunity to expose my fammily and friends to a variety of resources, in addition to making myself an asset. at first, i wasn't sure these training sessions were going to be helpful; i'm thrilled to be getting so much information. i know i work best when i'm over-loaded with information. this forces me to learn the information as well as organize it so it's accessible when i need it. quite literally, i am a community organizer; i was the logical notekeeper at brewing grounds: i wrote the menus and recipes, proposals, budgets and everything. that is also the role i'm taking in the group now, documenting through journals and photography.
i'm thinking of compiling a cd of all the photos and some original music/artwork from the allies and making it a sort of yearbook for all of us as well as a section of my portfolio. i'd be likely to actually do this with ife.
though we started at the united community center with a tour and training, we went on a trolley ride
with reuben harpole
all over the city of milwaukee. he's a historian and community activist. he filled us in on a lot, and also told me what my african name might be (i was born on a thursday, so my name would be aba) and gave me his card.i'd like to interview him, he's a community asset (vocabulary: someone/something that is a prexisting positive resource within the community).
after each day, reflecting on these training sessions is making me better, more complete. i am going to strat setting goals for myself as well as mapping all these incredible resources. maybe i'll put it on my wall.
all of this is making me re-consider my major at school to non-profit management.
yesterday, i found out most of the P.A. philosophy is based on the alverno curriculum. i also believe alverno offers credits to students who experience extra-curricular activities that are applicable to the learning structure of the school. i am starting to see how this whole thing works and think it can help get me to a place i'd like to be.
Tuesday
united no way
9/12/07
today we meet at the united way. my grandmother called this morning, crying and asking where samadhi was. she gets frantic sometimes, and so i ended up going over to check up on her. when i got there, the burners on the stove were still warm. she turns them on when she gets cold, but turned them off because she knows i don't approve. i comforted her for a little while and was a half hour late to the day's training.
our first session was "seven laws of managing up" the essential summary of the goals were: remain humble; use discretion in your words; uphold your integrity; be about actions, not about words; know your place in the heirarchy (in order to appropriately navigate where you want to be); plan ahead; and work smarter, not harder.
we read adebesi's article on power, which brought up a lot of interesting discussion. we talked about the use and abuse of power, proper application of power, and about reliquishing power at the appropriate times.
shana brought the word "empower" into the conversation; i created a slogan for the day in relation to the application: power to empower. tee also brought up a good acronym to evaluate if what you are going to say is important Why Am I Talking? (W.A.I.T.) wait is a really good way for me to apply the essential components of listening and thoughtful speech. communication requires much self-assessment; am i wasting breath, or are my words valuable to others?
2 applicable parables to the session: "better a wise man to remain silent and be perceived a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." micah said, in relation to preparation: "proper preparation prevents piss-poor performance."
that was the basis of our first session, after which megan, alicia, jenny, shannon, and i went for lunch at the public market. it was my first non-group encounter with more than one ally at a time. it was interesting to see them intimately, having a moment to come out of the program shell.
the second session was forming our first SMART goal. funny, because my first goal is to maintain patience with people and situations which otherwise test me. i had to list 3 ways to move toward that goal:
1. remain calm
2. hear someone without bias
3. analyze less, accept more
next, i had to find ways to make steps toward these attempts
1. in order to remain calm, i need not over-react; breathe; and level myself internally.
2. to really hear someone without bias, i shouldn't jump to conclusions; i need to practice active listening; and not to judge.
3. to analyze less and accept more, i need to aknowledge that mine isn't the only way; take things at face value rather than assuming; and keep an open mind.
over a 10-month timeline, i developed a way to get to my goal. in the first 2 months, i want to practice nonbiased listening. over the first 4 months, i want to work on my patience. over the first 6 months, i want to apply the training of communication i'm learning through school. in 8 months, i would like to have a better grasp on lovingkindness. over the course of the 10 months, i would like to develop a grasp on mindfulness.
a little later on, the national c.e.o. and president of public allies, paul schmitz,
came in and talked to us about the directional compass model of personal analysis.
visionaries
mobilizers nurturers
analysts
we broke into groups based on our intuitive decisions. i was in the visionary group where we primarily decided we were a group of dreamers and creators. our shortcomings became strikingly apparent.
as we were trying to discuss everything, no one was listening to one another. there was too much ego, too much disinterest. everyone was involved in sidebar conversations, and talking over each other. i eventually gave up, handed over my notebook, and walked out the door.
already, i have failed my first task, forgotten my first goal. i needed to calm down, so i created my own acronym (they seemed to be helping today):
Patience, Accept, Understand, Synthesize, Encourage. P.A.U.S.E.
i think this will be a simple way for me to maintain a forward drive and reach my goal.
today we meet at the united way. my grandmother called this morning, crying and asking where samadhi was. she gets frantic sometimes, and so i ended up going over to check up on her. when i got there, the burners on the stove were still warm. she turns them on when she gets cold, but turned them off because she knows i don't approve. i comforted her for a little while and was a half hour late to the day's training.
our first session was "seven laws of managing up" the essential summary of the goals were: remain humble; use discretion in your words; uphold your integrity; be about actions, not about words; know your place in the heirarchy (in order to appropriately navigate where you want to be); plan ahead; and work smarter, not harder.
we read adebesi's article on power, which brought up a lot of interesting discussion. we talked about the use and abuse of power, proper application of power, and about reliquishing power at the appropriate times.
shana brought the word "empower" into the conversation; i created a slogan for the day in relation to the application: power to empower. tee also brought up a good acronym to evaluate if what you are going to say is important Why Am I Talking? (W.A.I.T.) wait is a really good way for me to apply the essential components of listening and thoughtful speech. communication requires much self-assessment; am i wasting breath, or are my words valuable to others?
2 applicable parables to the session: "better a wise man to remain silent and be perceived a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." micah said, in relation to preparation: "proper preparation prevents piss-poor performance."
that was the basis of our first session, after which megan, alicia, jenny, shannon, and i went for lunch at the public market. it was my first non-group encounter with more than one ally at a time. it was interesting to see them intimately, having a moment to come out of the program shell.
the second session was forming our first SMART goal. funny, because my first goal is to maintain patience with people and situations which otherwise test me. i had to list 3 ways to move toward that goal:
1. remain calm
2. hear someone without bias
3. analyze less, accept more
next, i had to find ways to make steps toward these attempts
1. in order to remain calm, i need not over-react; breathe; and level myself internally.
2. to really hear someone without bias, i shouldn't jump to conclusions; i need to practice active listening; and not to judge.
3. to analyze less and accept more, i need to aknowledge that mine isn't the only way; take things at face value rather than assuming; and keep an open mind.
over a 10-month timeline, i developed a way to get to my goal. in the first 2 months, i want to practice nonbiased listening. over the first 4 months, i want to work on my patience. over the first 6 months, i want to apply the training of communication i'm learning through school. in 8 months, i would like to have a better grasp on lovingkindness. over the course of the 10 months, i would like to develop a grasp on mindfulness.
a little later on, the national c.e.o. and president of public allies, paul schmitz,
came in and talked to us about the directional compass model of personal analysis.
visionaries
mobilizers nurturers
analysts
we broke into groups based on our intuitive decisions. i was in the visionary group where we primarily decided we were a group of dreamers and creators. our shortcomings became strikingly apparent.
as we were trying to discuss everything, no one was listening to one another. there was too much ego, too much disinterest. everyone was involved in sidebar conversations, and talking over each other. i eventually gave up, handed over my notebook, and walked out the door.
already, i have failed my first task, forgotten my first goal. i needed to calm down, so i created my own acronym (they seemed to be helping today):
Patience, Accept, Understand, Synthesize, Encourage. P.A.U.S.E.
i think this will be a simple way for me to maintain a forward drive and reach my goal.
what's your sign
9/11/07
today's seminars were on finances (credit reports, analysis of budgets, and other systems), and personality types.
i'm having a hard time digesting this analysis procedure. it seems as if much of this is seriously conflicting with the stereotypical models we were talking about earlier. i think these theories are too narrow; there are too many possibilities out there, and so i don't feel the spectrum here is broad enough.
i'm listening, but i don't understand the function here. the order of these sessions is challenging me in terms of logic. ticara brought up astrological signs, and to me (and most people, it seemed)that made sense. astrological signs are related to the season in which they fall, and can affect the circumstances of one's life that way. summer babies, spring babies, fall babies, winter babies. we have experiences and are brought up under the auspicious events coinciding with the seasons of our birth, and therefore our signs.
i actually admit this is the first session i haven't enjoyed so far; tomorrow i may have a mental evolution and change my mind completely. i am seeing myself grow but at the same time, recess so quickly, swinging back and forth with little discretion or bias.
today's seminars were on finances (credit reports, analysis of budgets, and other systems), and personality types.
i'm having a hard time digesting this analysis procedure. it seems as if much of this is seriously conflicting with the stereotypical models we were talking about earlier. i think these theories are too narrow; there are too many possibilities out there, and so i don't feel the spectrum here is broad enough.
i'm listening, but i don't understand the function here. the order of these sessions is challenging me in terms of logic. ticara brought up astrological signs, and to me (and most people, it seemed)that made sense. astrological signs are related to the season in which they fall, and can affect the circumstances of one's life that way. summer babies, spring babies, fall babies, winter babies. we have experiences and are brought up under the auspicious events coinciding with the seasons of our birth, and therefore our signs.
i actually admit this is the first session i haven't enjoyed so far; tomorrow i may have a mental evolution and change my mind completely. i am seeing myself grow but at the same time, recess so quickly, swinging back and forth with little discretion or bias.
Thursday
old friends
9/10/07
i arrived an entire hour early for the training session. james was waiting in the rain, i invited him into the car and we chatted a bit about the program. everyone is pretty comfortable with each other now. it's interesting to see the intrinsic relationships, the way that people are leaning towards each other in these new friendships.
for the first session, we talked about the 4 basic requirements of graduation: 1.)presentation of learning, or POL 2.)Portfolios, professional and personal 3.)360 evaluation/IDP and 4.) personal inventory service document, or PISD. aren't acronyms the cutest?
we had a panel discussion from former allies dave and susan.
we took a break and re-convened at the friend's meeting house (ironically) to talk about diversity. these are going to be big fights, close to personal parts of our hearts. everyone is still walking on eggshells and trying not to offend each other; perhaps this is everyone's way of trying to use the appropriate language and thereby learn about diversity through sympathetic eyes. i can't say just yet.
i know one of my goals is to be a better listener, but these topics set me aflame. round two is a bit more truthful, people are beginning to reveal their "personal prejudices" as well as fears of being discriminated against. this is a learning experience for me; the conflict of interests makes for learning experiences.
the topic of self-hatred has been brought up. that is the root of so many of these problems. if we could see beyond our own issues and insecurities, problems would dissipate.
i arrived an entire hour early for the training session. james was waiting in the rain, i invited him into the car and we chatted a bit about the program. everyone is pretty comfortable with each other now. it's interesting to see the intrinsic relationships, the way that people are leaning towards each other in these new friendships.
for the first session, we talked about the 4 basic requirements of graduation: 1.)presentation of learning, or POL 2.)Portfolios, professional and personal 3.)360 evaluation/IDP and 4.) personal inventory service document, or PISD. aren't acronyms the cutest?
we had a panel discussion from former allies dave and susan.
we took a break and re-convened at the friend's meeting house (ironically) to talk about diversity. these are going to be big fights, close to personal parts of our hearts. everyone is still walking on eggshells and trying not to offend each other; perhaps this is everyone's way of trying to use the appropriate language and thereby learn about diversity through sympathetic eyes. i can't say just yet.
i know one of my goals is to be a better listener, but these topics set me aflame. round two is a bit more truthful, people are beginning to reveal their "personal prejudices" as well as fears of being discriminated against. this is a learning experience for me; the conflict of interests makes for learning experiences.
the topic of self-hatred has been brought up. that is the root of so many of these problems. if we could see beyond our own issues and insecurities, problems would dissipate.
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