what's the difference?

11/05/07

last friday was madness. PA met friday at urban underground for training and debriefing on the make a difference day activities. though i had a problem with the MADD experience, i felt it was worth it. we did a lot of good work and got a taste of organizing firsthand instead of just talking about it.

there was a lot of tension in that basement. it seemed as if people felt the need to defend the fact that they had in fact done anything at all. an argument was inspired by a sheet we had to fill out saying what we did in the group, how long we worked, etc. some people over-elaborated, some didn't say very much at all. i was in the latter group; i felt it was apparent that i did my fair share too.

we broke off into our committees and went one by one around the room to discuss our roles and whether or not our particular project was successful. i was pleased with my group, because even though it didn't go as planned, we still made it work. while some of the group folded clothes they'd collected, some of the others went to friends and families (event their own closets) to make up for the unexpectedly empty boxes. there was discrepancy about whether or not the absent members just left to get out of the day, but this was inevitable.

as we went around the room, each group shared their perceptions of success as well as trial and error. when the program managers reached the office team, there was a lot of frustration.

here's where it got interesting.

mari, the contact for the office team, wasn't able to get to the guest house before one, so everyone was kind of confused about what to do in the mean time. they plugged in as best as they could in order to help the other teams. upon her arrival, mari introduced the most bizarre sort of mailing system for fundraising letters i've ever heard of. rather than matching letters to corresponding envelopes in alphabetical order,or even addressing them by hand as they came (or even attaching labels per envelope) she created a numerical system for more than 14,000 solicitation letters.

actually, it wasn't the system that was so wrong as the way she implemented it. according to the office team, she neglected to print the letters and envelopes in any sort of order; numerical, alphabetical, or otherwise. in addition to a poor system, the printing wasn't even complete.

so...

all of this led shana to ask the office team questions such as, "what did you all do during the planning stages of the committee," or "did anyone contact mari in relation to the intended system."

temperatures flared as the other allies tried to explain they thought the directions were clear: stuff envelopes and help complete massive mailing. how were they supposed to account for this system, senseless roadblock? defenses were made.

here is where it became not only confusing, but frustrating for most of us. rather than moving on, shana sort of snapped at the office team for their lack of foresight in the planning stage. she wanted to know why noone had contacted mari and asked for more exclusive details in relation to the project.

it wasn't so much what she was trying to say as how she said it. the looks on the faces of the allies was strained, ashamed to be spoken to in that manner. on one hand, her questions were so valid: we had planned for weeks, yet who would have expected for something so simple to go so wrong? there was a communication lapse as she continued to dig and the office team attempted to defend their stance.

so much more was said, but it felt as if that discrepancy painted the rest of the day long and unpleasant. it really came down to a lack of communication, but the nursing of so many bruised egos. we asked ourselves, is this part of the training? to face conflict? are we better to talk around it, or to face it head on?

the second half of the day was dedicated to our tsp teams. we met upstairs in a conference room, but the morning sentiments still hung thick. the session began with an hour long series of personal attacks and revisiting the morning, as well as new accusations. it was awkward and uncomfortable; james said we wouldn't be able to be successful if we didn't get everything out now. what would happen to the team if it came out later?

it felt good to go home after everything. i felt awful, and didn't doubt whether everyone else felt the same. we were all fed up, tired of fighting. i can understand that. we're going to have to figure out a way to coexist without taking up verbal arms, but as peaceful and competent individuals.