into the wilderness

06/07/08
samadhi and i joined andrew, amber, kasia, and dave on a hike down the beerline trail saturday. we hiked down through gordon park and listened to tales from vince bushnell about the activities that used to happen along the trail (the railway that helped secure its name, ice skating on the river, rowing, and ski jumping)and descriptions and histories of plants, including native flower species and invasives.

the day was really great. we hiked along and watched the animals around us, felt the breeze and samadhi touched as many plants as he could. it was nice to get out and walk, to take advantage of a neighborhood resource that was quite literally, right in our back yard.

i've been trying to get more involved in the activities around the neighborhood since the beginning of our tsp project. i see the value of all these things around me, and also the opportunity to develop and maintain relationships with others. and the more i find myself interacting with the community, the easier i find it to be a part of the things that are going on.

i am especially becoming entrenched in the green aspects of my neighborhood. i have my whole yard dug up, and seeds are sprouting everywhere. all my neighbors, yound and old, of all races, stop and talk as i pull weeds or plant flowers. it's developing a life of its own while helping me to build a community.

the entire fruit is already present in the seed.
-tertullian

dinosaurs vs non-profits

11/07/07

q: what is a ynpn?
a: young nonprofit professionals network

last night, i attended (briefly) a meeting on volunteer management at von trier with dave. i was indeed late, but it wasn't my fault! those delicious tacos at live as well as a frosty draught got the best of me....

i am not sorry.

in fact, i am sorry i didn't stay longer to eat more tacos, drink more beer, and watch jeff goldblum's incredible struggles against gigantic man-eating dinosaurs

(what a lovely man.)

the event was hosted by the education committee of ynpn, and reminded me very much of the first friday training session, only less focused because everyone was there with their own agenda and expectations. all in all, it wasn't the presentation that was so bad. if it weren't information we'd received already, i might have been really interested. the problem was the aftermath, or what dave came to call "the fixers."

every one's dealt with that person who asks a question they already know the answer to. in fact, the questioner is often only looking for someone to back him up in the conclusion he's already drawn. (read: he wants to be right, and wants someone else to say so.)

after said question is proposed, the fixers come in and make suggestions that usually begin with phrases like, "well, what i usually do..." or "you know what i think..." and in the end offer little to no new information that the questioner had not already discerned in their wicked little mind.

every one's looking for validation, right?

from what i gathered, everyone at that meeting was deeply affiliated with a particular non-profit. the problem with this: the topic was volunteer management. it seemed that many of them were very far-removed from the volunteering process in reality. some of the comments on strategy [like how to treat volunteers in problem situations (for instance, overly needy, aggressive, or perhaps physically incapable)] enraged me as a volunteer observing this group.

it seems as if non-profits forget that people are doing work for them that people in the real world do in fact get paid for. they may not be giving dollars, but they are giving their time to do jobs most np managers and coordinators just don't want to do. when is the last time a board got together to stuff envelopes for 3 hours outside of work? if donors are the lifeblood of non-profit sector, volunteers are the living tissue that houses the well-intentioned spirit.

(sorry about the envelope metaphor)

does anyone else consider the volunteer-organization relationship? it's one thing to say you appreciate them, but how do you make them feel? are they taken for granted, or perhaps spoken to in a condescending fashion? maybe the next session will be about coming back to the grassroots of the movement.

dinosaurs:1
non-profits: 0

chinacostaricavietnamthailand

10/24/07

had my IDP with james and veronica. still up to my ears in busywork, but not dollar bills. decided to do a goal which revolves around my desire to get TEFL certified, james wants to check in on it in about six months. i can get college credit, but i have to do the classes online, which should take about 2 months. i guess if i don't go out of the country, i can use part of my money from the education grant to pay for it, because it's based out of the roosevelt university in chicago. the only thing is you have to log on every day and do the work online. that could get tricky, i'm awful at the internet.

i was looking at the different places that would let me teach without a b.a. and it looks like china's the best bet. with it's close proximity to india, inclusive housing and the fine art of mandarin, i think i could have a good time with samadhi. apparently, you can also do private tuoring and double your income. sounds like a good way to get things rolling instead of just hoping i can ge myself together, especially considering the declining value of the good old american greenback.

we're all getting ready for make a difference day. our committees have been working on this for a while now, and i'm glad it's almost over. i've got 2 huge boxes of toiletries under my desk, but it smells like a soap box in my office. i kind of loathe it. i'm also making a huge lot of chili for the weekend, because we couldn't get anyone to donate food. dave got annona bistro to donate some brekkie, and i got some stuff from beans and barley, but that's all she wrote.

james and i took the toiletries over to the PA office in the grand, and i ended up on the spot. there was an introductory meeting there and we were all spotlighted amidst chili and donation solicitation. it was nice, april and rob were there too. chili was had by all.

nothing too much exciting. lots of work to be done. i had a presentation at la causa community center, it was really great. the group was so small, and they looked relieved that i could talk with them a bit in spanish and answer their questions. i even got a couple of people interested in volunteering. that would take care of that part of my requirements.

i realized this will be better for me once i complete the requirements of the program. that way, i can focus on having a good time instead of just numbers. numbers give me anxiety attacks.

understatements

9/22/07

i have school this weekend, and am constantly paralleing p.a. to alverno in a structural sense. both are hard (and often times frustrating). though i struggle with it, i am trying to extract meaning/value from the experience.

i am thinking about my experience yesterday. i could not wait to go home, and ended up getting sick from stress. looking back, some people are incredibly supportive, in spite of how the group responds to my personality.

not to say much about any of the others, but i am grateful for those suportive allies out there. alicia is incredible. though we may not always agree, she's great at expressing herself, making everything clear so there is seldom misunderstanding. dave has not only been encouraging, but also inspiring to me. he pushes me to go on even though he knows how stressful it can all be. arthur and isaac are kind of a team, always checking in on me. i appreciate it.

hopefully, all of this will resolve itself.

old friends

9/10/07

i arrived an entire hour early for the training session. james was waiting in the rain, i invited him into the car and we chatted a bit about the program. everyone is pretty comfortable with each other now. it's interesting to see the intrinsic relationships, the way that people are leaning towards each other in these new friendships.

for the first session, we talked about the 4 basic requirements of graduation: 1.)presentation of learning, or POL 2.)Portfolios, professional and personal 3.)360 evaluation/IDP and 4.) personal inventory service document, or PISD. aren't acronyms the cutest?

we had a panel discussion from former allies dave and susan.


we took a break and re-convened at the friend's meeting house (ironically) to talk about diversity. these are going to be big fights, close to personal parts of our hearts. everyone is still walking on eggshells and trying not to offend each other; perhaps this is everyone's way of trying to use the appropriate language and thereby learn about diversity through sympathetic eyes. i can't say just yet.

i know one of my goals is to be a better listener, but these topics set me aflame. round two is a bit more truthful, people are beginning to reveal their "personal prejudices" as well as fears of being discriminated against. this is a learning experience for me; the conflict of interests makes for learning experiences.

the topic of self-hatred has been brought up. that is the root of so many of these problems. if we could see beyond our own issues and insecurities, problems would dissipate.